(continued)

TITLE:
Breaking the Big Box

AUTHOR:
Owen Good

PITCH:
Ocean's Eleven meets Clerks.

PREMISE:
Fresh out of the clink, the world's greatest shoplifter assembles his team for a breathtaking job no mall rat, skate punk, or suburban housewife would ever think possible, much less attempt: a $2,798 52-inch plasma screen TV from the largest and most secure big-box store in the East Bay of California—on Black Friday. Watch as all the heist-movie archetypes come together—the wisecracking leader; the steely-eyed demolitions expert; the quiet, abused-as-a-child tunneler/sapper; flamboyantly gay diversion-setter; the ladies' man forger/fixer; and token black guy stolen-goods fencer/pimp—for the most grandiose waste of effort in the history of criminal enterprise. But look out: The biggest douchebag loss-prevention officer in America has been specifically called out of retirement to protect this television and personally stop our antihero. Lurking in the background is the protagonist's former commanding officer from his time with a covert black-ops loss-prevention unit at the Mall of America—a past his cohorts know nothing of, a past carrying debts that must be paid. Can the team pull it off? Will their leader sell them out—or will someone else? And will they have to show a receipt to make it out alive?

TAGLINE:
So stupid, it has to work.

CAST:
Carlos Mencia (Leader)
Fred Thompson (Former CO)
Ricky Schroder (Douchebag loss-prevention officer)
Keith David (Steely-eyed demolitions expert)
Ashton Kutcher (Quiet tunneler/sapper hiding childhood abuse)
Andy Dick (Flamboyantly gay diversion-setter)
Mark Ruffalo (Ladies' man forger/fixer)
Djimon Hounsou (Token black stolen-goods fencer/pimp)