|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Bottom FeederThe popular fish that might ruin your evening—and your clothes
HAWAII FIVE UH-OH Respect the Butterfish, or it may destroy your khakis The next morning before work, his wife asked him why his pants were all wet. He decided to take a sick day. Home from work and running back and forth to the shower, Duffy did some minimal online research and found out the ugly, messy truth about the fish he'd eaten: Sometimes it makes orange oil shoot out of your ass. 
WHAT YOUR FISHMONGER ISN'T TELLING YOU Cramping and loose stool from Olestra? Kid's stuff compared to the side effects the butterfish is packing Duffy is like many other diners all over the United States who unwittingly eat escolar, the deep-sea fish found mostly in tropical waters. Sold in many restaurants and markets as "butterfish" or "Hawaiian walu," escolar usually runs as an $18 entrée special at many casual dining restaurants, and can be purchased in fish markets for about $11 to 13 per pound. Some trendier spots prepare it on the grill so that its true "richness and flavor" can be more easily savored. Sushi restaurants occasionally serve it as "super white tuna" or "king tuna." Most diners who try it love it, even those whose seafood consumption is never more adventurous than shrimp cocktail or Gorton's fish sticks. In 1999, the New York Times touted it, quoting Jeremy Marshall, chef of SoHo seafood palace Aquagrill, who likened it to the "foie gras" of fish. A quick Google search of "escolar dishes" results in myriad local and national newspapers praising restaurants for having it on its menu. Conversely, all of these reviews usually end with a caveat that often reads like this one pulled from a 2004 New York magazine story called "The 'It' Fish": 
FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED Suggest pairing for Escolar: Tide stain stick, to go! For a follow-up online search, plug in "escolar" and any variation of "anal leakage" or "diarrhea" and you'll find plenty of message boards and blogs dispensing harrowing tales similar to Duffy's. Some of these stories offer disturbing, long-winded narratives that begin with a mysterious expulsion of gas and end with a destroyed pair of khakis at a romantic dinner, or, in some cases, a trip to the emergency room by those who feared that their insides had melted. 
Dudes! This is an ass-blastingly funny article. Caveat emptor! Posted by: MrWood on February 12, 2008 3:45 PM That dish looks so good I am almost tempted to find a place and try it and then let the games begin. Posted by: listenup on February 12, 2008 9:17 PM That dish looks so good I am almost tempted to find a place and try it and then let the games begin. Posted by: listenup on February 12, 2008 9:17 PM I am tattooing "escolar" on my hands so that I never EVER forget not to order it. I've only got 1 pair of khakis and I kind of like to keep 'em. And my self esteem too. Posted by: MrsFeatherbottom on February 12, 2008 9:30 PM Advertisement The 'anal leakage' tag is not used enough. Posted by: moneycashhos on February 13, 2008 9:11 AM Oh, we're way ahead of you. Posted by: Balk on February 13, 2008 9:42 AM You just found this out? Everyone already knows about escolar or "butterfish" or "white tuna". Many of us find it an amazing fish and appreciate the retail stores and restaurants that serve it. It is a delicious delicacy and no one I know has experienced anything like anal squirts of yellow liquid. C'mon give us some real news. BTW, did you ever hear that certain individuals develop allergic reactions to shellfish? Maybe your next article should try scaring us off of all shelfish in case that may happens to us! Posted by: jenjermax on February 13, 2008 10:21 AM So ass blastingly funny that evidently you felt the need to post your oh-so-clever comment twice. You're the shit, hats off to you, MrWood. I bet that's a penis thing, huh? Impressive. Posted by: Meg_Ohhhh on February 13, 2008 10:26 AM Jenjermax, I'm sure you'll enjoy our March feature "Peanuts: The Silent Snack Mix Assassin." Thanks for reading! Posted by: Balk on February 13, 2008 11:11 AM Now THAT'S what I call trouser (ruining) trout. Ba doom ching. Posted by: Ferrari on February 13, 2008 11:39 AM Jenjermax, a flack at the ready! Can yoko be one your clients? You're such a go-getter and yoko has lots of ass-blasting pr problems... Posted by: yoko on February 13, 2008 1:40 PM Just FYI, that picture is not of the butterfish you're writing about. The picture is Pholis gunnelus, the butterfish sold as ass-blasting food is Poronotus triacanthus, and looks very different (both coming and going, as it were). They both have the same common name, hence the confusion. The intestinally risky version is also called dollarfish and harvestfish. Posted by: brilliantmistake on February 13, 2008 2:00 PM Oops. That should be Peprilus triacanthus. Other fish in the same genus are also sold as butterfish or harvestfish. Posted by: brilliantmistake on February 13, 2008 2:13 PM I can't believe I keep posting, but escolar = Lepidocybium flavobrunneum, showing why common names don't always tell you much about what you are getting at the seafood market. There's bunch of species called butterfish, only one, apparently, will have the ass-blasting side effect, Lepidocybium flavobrunneum. It's sometimes sold as white tuna, although it's not a tuna. Picture can be found here Posted by: brilliantmistake on February 13, 2008 8:28 PM stupid Posted by: brilliantmistake on February 13, 2008 8:35 PM WTF is this fish nerd-ery? Posted by: moneycashhos on February 14, 2008 10:42 AM "...he missed two days of work and ruined five pairs of pants because of their "butterfish." LMAO Good grief. Put on a freaking maxi-pad and go to work. Women ruin underwear and clothes every month - deal with it buddy. Suck it up, quit whining and get back to work. Posted by: diamante on February 24, 2008 4:44 PM Unfortunately I can attest that this article is TRUE. Honolulu 2002. Unexplained dampness. Horror. Horror. Posted by: Clopto on February 25, 2008 11:31 PM "The best fish Ive ever had" said partner..until the next morning, between us 6 pairs of undies ruined and thank god for 2 ply toilet paper! Not to mention the stomach cramps...NEVER again, beware people, oh would anyone like the kilo of butterfish in our freezer? Has a lovely taste.... Posted by: butterfishstains on March 1, 2008 6:44 PM Hey - thanks for validating what happened to me when I had my first experience with this fish on Sunday. I had a VERY unpleasant day at work on Monday.....this fish was rocket fuel for my intestines. Who needs a colon cleanse when you can eat this slippery fish? I am now in the process of tossing out the doggy bag that has the balance of the fish in it. I still can't believe how my digestive system reacted to this fish. Posted by: Susied44 on June 25, 2008 8:42 PM This is so true and made me laugh - I'm still recovering from a BAD attack, and the smell is unbelievable too! Like a heavy mineral oil or strange flower perfume. It does stain your clothes and sanitary towels can't catch it all - it goes everywhere!!! It soaked through a folded towel in a split second! It isn't an allergy or intolerance to a type of food, it is caused by residues in the fish (you'd need to study the food chain) - look up Keriorrhoea if you want to know more. I thought something dreadful was happening and I might never recover!!! So much for a great holiday in Madeira! Posted by: exfishluver on July 4, 2008 7:11 PM Oh and by the way, I ordered swordfish ... which eats the escolar (snake mackerel) and the oilfish. So do the fish do the same thing in the sea and spray amber oil everywhere?? Posted by: exfishluver on July 4, 2008 7:17 PM Post a commentYour comment will not be visible for about a minute. If you don't see your comment when the page reloads, do not post it again. Reload the page in a minute, and you'll see it. < BACK TO Features |
    
 |
|
 |
|
 | ||||
Share This Article
Like this article? Click here to buzz it up on Yahoo!