The author of A Practical Guide to Racism exposes common Gypsy grifts

A Practical Guide to Racism, available in better booksellers and convenience stores now, tackles America's tragic flaw from a new, illuminating perspective. As a world-renowned expert on ethnography, as well as phrenology and the rhythm method, C.H. Dalton is uniquely qualified to offer his perspective on this difficult topic. In this excerpt from the guide, Dalton discusses some common Gypsy tricks and scams.

Gypsies are perhaps the most hated of all the races. The ethnicities of the world are divided by all manner of strife and conflict, but the one thing that they all have in common is an abiding disdain for the Gypsy race.

Of course, it's not all the Gypsies' fault. The latest phrenological knowledge suggests that the Roma people are genetically predisposed to thievery, prevarication, and poor personal hygiene. That's why it's important to be prepared for any encounter you might have with one of these tramps and thieves.

In one elaborate scam, an overbearing Gypsy stage mother pushes her daughter into burlesque dancingWith that in mind, please pay close attention to this selection of common Gypsy grifts and scams from A Practical Guide to Racism (available from Gotham Books).

THE PICKPOCKET
This simplest and most common Gypsy scam has existed for thousands of years, and takes many forms. Most often, a dexterous thief simply reaches into the mark's pocket, purse, or bag and removes his wallet. Some Gypsies will use a knife or razor to actually slice open the pocket instead of reaching into it, or cut the strap of a purse in order to remove it entirely. Gypsies may be the world's most gifted pickpockets, though British street urchins can also be surprisingly adept.

THE SAVAGE BEATING
Another variation on the classic Pickpocket, this old Gypsy confidence trick finds the mark set upon by one or more thieves. After they beat him to within an inch of his life or beyond, they relieve him of his wallet and run off. Even the threat of a savage beating can be enough to trick someone into handing over their possessions, though. It must be embarrassing to fall for this old scam.

THE SPANISH PRISONER
This grift involves forcing the mark to watch Rebecca Pidgeon read her husband's stilted, staccato dialogue for 90 excruciating minutes.

THE TOOTHBRUSH IN THE RECTUM
A Gypsy with access to the mark's toiletries, most often a chambermaid, inserts his toothbrush into her rectum, while a confederate photographs the incident. Later, they mail him the photographs, showing that the toothbrush the mark has been putting in his mouth was once in the rectum of a Gypsy scam artist. Money is rarely exchanged.

THE DATE RAPE
In this old grift, a Gypsy arranges a romantic encounter with a credulous mark. Once they are on the date, the Gypsy has nonconsensual sex with the victim. Those who fall for this scam are often too embarrassed to even report it to the police.

THE GYPSY ROSE LEE
In this elaborate "big store" scam, an overbearing Gypsy stage mother pushes her daughter into burlesque dancing. The daughter eventually becomes an international superstar, and the musical based on their relationship becomes a modern classic. The victims are the audience members for the 1998 adaptation starring Debbie Gibson, who were scammed out of $100 apiece.

THE TIP JAR
In this grift, the Gypsy visits a coffee shop. When the barista turns around to make his latte, the Gypsy reaches into her tip jar and steals the money.

THE LOTTERY
The Gypsy and his confederates run a lottery game, allowing participants to buy tickets for a chance to win a large prize, often in the millions of dollars. However, the chances of winning are so infinitesimally small that the ticket is, economically speaking, worth only a fraction of the price that the mark pays for it. By selling false hope to tens of millions of the working poor, the Gypsy is effectively stealing from them.

THE ZOLTAR MACHINE
Frustrated by his small stature, a young boy asks a Gypsy machine to make him "big" in exchange for money. When the mark wakes up the next day, he is a grown man, but this soon grows tiresome, and there is no way to change back. Needless to say, the Zoltar machine keeps the nickel.

THE CASTING COUCH

A Gypsy pretends to be a casting agent for a major motion picture or television show. When young actresses come in to audition, he offers them a part in a nonexistent production in exchange for having sex with him. After "sealing the deal," he promises to call with more information, but never does, since he is not a real casting agent.

THE LOUIS VUITTON HANDBAG
Most frequently practiced by Chinese Gypsies, the Louis Vuitton Handbag involves selling counterfeit merchandise at prices well below those of the authentic items. The mark believes she has found a bargain, only to discover afterward that her purchase is a cheap knockoff. As with many Gypsy scams, it punishes the mark for her greediness, and for being the sort of reprehensible person who actually cares what brand of handbag she owns.

THE ORGANIZED RELIGION
Preying on the hopeless and naive, the Gypsy convinces large groups of marks that there is a being with superpowers who lives in the sky, and that they should worship and fear him. The Gypsy then extorts money from the victims in the name of this "God," offering only hope and comfort in return.

THE PORAJMOS
In this grift, Nazis decimate the Gypsy population of central Europe. This is actually more of a Nazi scam.

For more information on A Practical Guide to Racism, as well as video lectures and weekly missives, visit Professor Dalton's website.