Liz Smith dishes with Michael McCarty on $35 burgers, high-stakes seating, and running the hottest restaurant in New York

WHERE EVERYONE KNOWS THEIR NAMES Just another lunch at Michael's

On any given day at Michael's, the legendary midtown New York institution that opened in 1989, you're likely to find yourself seated among some of the most famous names in media and entertainment. The restaurant is a clubhouse for a certain class of celebrity, and luminaries from those industries are sometimes known to have lunch at Michael's simply so that they can see it reported in the paper the next day. (Mediabistro founder Laurel Touby used to go there every Wednesday just to write down the names of the power diners in attendance.) Owner Michael McCarty, a bicoastal restaurateur who opened the original branch of the restaurant in Santa Monica in 1979, recently released his new book, Welcome to Michael's, which includes recipes, philosophy, and a collection of Michaelisms—the words and phrases McCarty can't keep from explaining. (At his recent book party, McCarty presented guests with a numbered list of these sayings, including such gems as "the key to life is moisture" and "the dudemeister.") The book boasts an introduction from gossip legend and frequent patron Liz Smith. Fascinated by the science of seating and tales of the media elite tucking into his famous Cobb salad, we had Liz ask Michael some of the questions we really wanted to know.

LIZ SMITH: What are the difficulties of creating seating arrangements?
MICHAEL MCCARTY: Our first line of defense is Loreal and Joanna, who are our maitre d's-slash-reservationists. Loreal has been there 10 or 12 years; Joanna's been there maybe five or six. We are also blessed with a great computer system, which keeps track of all our customers and has an extensive history on every VIP who walks through the door, how many times they've come in, where they've sat before, who they are, what they do. It's all really high-tech. God bless technology.

Do you ever include nasty things about them?
No, we don't do that. [Laughs.]

But you do make sure your people know not to seat some mogul's wife next to his mistress?
Well, yes, that we do. We have a computerized reservation system called Open Table, and we were the first people in New York or L.A. to have it. Putting the customer's first and last name into that system instantly brings up a huge file on that individual. Our people are trained to look at that and gather whatever they need to know, including who the customer shouldn't sit by.

[Vanity Fair columnist] Michael Wolff started calling, demanding to know who evicted him from his regular table. He kept on screaming, "Tell me who did this. I want names." It was a little sad, reallyIt would alert them not to seat Liz Smith next to Bobby Zarem! [Who, famously, feuded with Smith for over 18 years]
Absolutely. So Loreal and Joanna do the first draft of the seating list every morning, shortly after breakfast. They confirm all the reservations, because it's extremely important that we make contact with people—if they're not going to come, or they're going to change their time. We try to make sure we know as much as possible. Then the second round comes.

You must also get a lot of late arrivals who call at the last minute and demand a table.
We certainly do, but we have a limited number of tables and a lot of calls, so it all depends on where we are in the day and what we've got, of course, and based on you know, we have to bob and weave, so to speak. I call from the West Coast and I go over the entire seating on the second draft.

You're kidding!
Every day, even if I'm I L.A., I call in to the restaurant at 8:00 in the morning to go over the complete seating chart and spend a half-hour with the staff tweaking it a bit. But an hour later Loreal has to tweak it a little further, because by 10 of 12 you wouldn't believe the phone calls that come in.

Aren't you pretty booked up by then?
We're usually booked full.

What do you do? Kill somebody off?
[Laughs.] I wish it was that easy. No, you bob and weave, you make calls, you make ... hard decisions.

Why do you think Michael's has been successful for so long? And don't say the food.
Yeah, okay. I won't mention the food. But there are very few restaurants that survive 29 years in Los Angeles and 18 years in New York City.

It's pretty amazing, especially considering that you were pretty low-key for some of those 18 years.
During the '80s, when I was opening California, everybody that came from New York—people from the industries we're talking about today—ate at my restaurant for 10 years. So when we opened in New York City in 1989, we were blessed that the William Morris Agency was on the corner and that ICM was a block away. We had HarperCollins, and a lot of the book business was in that neighborhood. Plus the three networks were very close.

And you still got the book business.
Absolutely. Now what's happened is that over the years, it's matured in a way that there have been more industries. For example, the fragrance industry, the art-world industry, the magazine industry, as well as the book publishing, and then of course the TV, movie, and the music industry. And you can't ever do without the finance industry; they're the ones that get it all going. Not to mention the attorneys and the rise of the Web.

Now, tell the truth about this, when did you start to realize that your restaurant was getting hot? Where they were actually fighting to get in, and you had more famous people than you could handle.
Well, the truth is, the clientele has been the same since the day we opened. But people have written about it a lot more in the last five years or 10 years.

Despite all the drama some people attach it, it's just a meal... If you behave, you might get a better table next timeMost of the hot restaurants in New York don't last longer than three years. Would you care if the buzz over Michael's suddenly died down? You had an incredible run.
I do think one reason for our longevity is that we work very carefully with our staff and with our members to really make sure every day goes smoothly. I always say it's like the Wizard of Oz: "Pay no attention to the little man behind the curtains." The general clientele does not realize how much my staff does—Steve Millington, my general manager, and my chef, Robert Ribant, and the Loreals of the world. The same thing on the West Coast, their counterparts, they work so hard to make it look like it's so smooth and so easy, when, in fact, it's like a well-oiled machine. Sometimes.

What's the most important part of the success? Is it the decor? The famous people you attract? The $35 burger?
I think that at the end of the day, it is just old-fashioned hospitality. You've got to have good service, you've got to have good food, and you've got to have the good wine. The decor's got to be light and contemporary. When I opened up in 1989 in New York City, other restaurants didn't have much light, you know? They were curtained off.

Frankly, Michael, I don't think changing the curtains has anything to do with it!
Well, maybe you're right ...

Why do people care so much about where they are seated? Do you have a lot of problems soothing egos?
A certain percentage of our customers are incredibly concerned about their seating. But the amount of problems we have with seating is extremely low compared to what you'd think. At this point, there's a pretty well established hierarchy, though everything is subject to change because new people are always drifting in. Just today we had Natasha Richardson and Alec Baldwin, people who don't eat here every week. Maybe they come there once a month or something. But you'll mix and you'll match and take care not to ruffle the feathers of our regulars. Sometimes you have to make adjustments. Some people are tough, but most of our regulars are pretty understanding. We are very firm as well, and we make it very clear that this is how we run the house. We're not nasty, we're not arrogant. But we are firm when we have to be. In the end, despite all the drama that some people attach to all this, it's just a meal. You can come back tomorrow or another time. If you behave, you might get a better table next time.

What are the most coveted tables?
The funny thing is, people have different ideas about where the "best table" is. A lot of the media people, for example, would be horrified if we sat them in the garden, which in my opinion is the nicest place in the whole restaurant. The whole reason I have that space is because I waited 10 years for that garden, because, as you know, my restaurant in Santa Monica is half outdoors. On the other hand, there are many industries and celebrities that will only eat in the garden. They would never think of sitting in the front room. So, it works out very well.

So, if you try to seat a famous person in the back room, do they go willingly?
Not always, but usually. At any given time, you'll go back into our garden and you'll have Paul Newman, who only eats there, for example. Or you'll have Don Bryant, who owns Bryant Family Vineyard, or Alan Grubman, the lawyer. In 18 years we have had very few incidents where people get their nose out of joint.

Have you ever had anybody leave and not come back?
Oh, just one, [former New York magazine columnist, current Vanity Fair writer] Michael Wolff. Remember the writer Michael Wolff?

Uh. Barely. [Laughs.]
One time, he called extremely late, and his table was already sat, because he was at frequently at table five. Loreal said, "I'm awfully sorry, you're table is already sat, but I can give you another table. And he said that that was it, and he never came back.

I don't understand what you're saying. His table was sat?
Sat, in other words, there were already people on it. It already had people there ...

Well, that's ridiculous.
But of course it is! After he stormed off, he started calling on the phone, demanding to know who decided that he should be evicted from his regular table. He kept on screaming, "Tell me who did this. I want names." It was a little sad, really.

Well, have other people ever misbehaved publicly when they aren't put where they are happy?
For the most part, we're really scandal-free. People bitch and moan now and then, but Michael Wolff was exceptional.

Who [besides Michael Wolff] are you ever the most depressed to see come into your restaurant? Has anybody come in that you just can't stand?
Generally, I'm not unhappy to see anyone here. We've learned a lot from our media clientele. We self-edit.

Liz Smith: Tell me, Michael, what goes into a $35 hamburger?

Michael McCarty: Hmmm... Really good meat? The price of real estate in Midtown Manhattan?Then I guess you wouldn't want to share with us who the world's worst tipper is?
[Laughs.] Um, I'll pass.

Do you confront people who leave lousy tips?
Well, if it's really egregious, the managers talk to them. They'll see if there was a problem or a mistake. It's the same thing they do if someone doesn't show up at the restaurant after making a reservation. We'll call and we say, "Did we make a mistake here?"

Do you have any problems with waiters approaching the famous and powerful trying to get jobs or sell their memoirs?
Once in a while, I suppose. When we first opened up, we had a lot of waiters who were discovered. Loreal, our maitre d', is a wonderful singer. She played Carnegie Hall and sold the whole place out. Steve, our manager, lost his parrot and decided to write a children's book about the adventure. He was offered book deals by a dozen major agents. But ultimately we're a restaurant, you know? Most of our waiters have been here for a long time, and my people are professionals.

Is there any difference between the people that come in New York and the people in Los Angeles?
More or less, we attract the same groups of people on both coasts.

But are the New Yorkers better dressed?
Maybe when we first opened. But nowadays the dress code is New York City is pretty relaxed. People in L.A. were much more casual for years, but ironically they're dressing up more than they used to, especially at night, so maybe they look better than New Yorkers at this point.

You don't draw a media crowd though in L.A.
Well, you know, it's funny. Just five days ago, Cathie Black took over our garden for 50 people in Santa Monica. It's not media types in L.A. who come; it's media types from New York. Helen Gurley Brown threw a party twice a year in our garden in Santa Monica. When we first opened up over the years Helen O'Hagan did the first fashion big bash here with Karl Lagerfeld. It's a lot of the same people. But it doesn't have the intensity. For example, we could never do breakfast at Santa Monica, but people in New York are working night and day.

Tell me, Michael, what goes into a $35 hamburger?
Hmmm! Really good meat! [Laughs.] The price of real estate in Midtown Manhattan? Let's see, real pickles?

Michael, a small bone to pick. I don't object to your high prices, I don't object to the fact that people are fighting to get my table, but I really do think you ought to vary the menu more, because people come there too often, and the menu stays too much the same. Why don't you just get rid of the things people never order?
See? That's what rubs me the wrong way about the interpretation of our menu. Everyone talks about the damn Cobb salad. If you read the papers, you'd think Cobb salad is all we serve. But the truth is we change our menu four times a year.

Well, that's not often enough for me.
We have tons of specials on a seasonal basis! Like the Nantucket Bay scallops now, the stone crabs, when it's white truffle or black truffle season. But then you have people like Henry [Schleiff, who has eaten here for years]. He has never ordered anything else. But then he complains that he never gets the menu!

That's the way I am. I order the roast chicken and then I beg them not to give me white meat.
Right.

I wish you all would order a few drumsticks and thighs.
Well, the next time you come, they should. They've got great ones there on those chickens. I'll make sure.

Think about this for a second. Was your most glorious moment the moment when the Post photographer snapped me, [former New York and Rolling Stone publisher] Joe Armstrong, and Bill Clinton?
That was a great day. It was a wonderful moment. And I think it sort of capped what we're all about.

Yeah, it was really great, and I was so glad I was there. To be a part of something funny like that, and also Clinton saying as the waiters passed with platters of French fries, "We'd love some of those," because we already had a wonderful lunch! There were wonderful people there. Billy Crystal and Robin Williams, and Diane Sawyer and [former Texas governor] Ann Richards, we were just having a ball.
Well, Billy [Crystal] and Janice [his wife] were having dinner the other night I was there, and I opened up the book—they're friends of mine from California, out here in Malibu—I open up the book and showed them the picture of your lunch and it was such a riot.

Now, here's my last question. If you had your dream table, if you could have four people coming in for lunch, it would be the hottest thing you've ever—I mean it wouldn't necessarily mean that they would be hot—but they would be your ideal table. Can you think of who they might be? And if you want to name more than four people, please do.
Oh my god, what a tough one ...

Or wouldn't it be nicer to have our table and those great guests I just mentioned back again? [Laughs.]
Yes!

But poor Ann Richards just left us.
Oh my God, that was such a shame. But you know that I've seen her daughter quite often. She's great. God, that's a hard one.

Well, do you have a dream star that you would like to lure to the restaurant?
God, well, it's like as my doctor says, "You know too many people."

You should have actually said, "Liz, it would be you and anyone you chose." But I can't tell you how to answer these questions.
[Laughs.] Well, that's what I probably would say.

The other day I was asked who I would sleep with if I had my pick. I said, "Jesus would be really interesting."
That would be hot. Kind of. [Laughs.]

The shock! I was hoping you'd give me some epic answer like that. You know?
Winston Churchill?

All right, well, your dreams are a disappointment to me.
They are, I know.

If you think on this and come up with a good answer, call me tomorrow and tell me. [Laughs.] And reserve table one for me tomorrow.