(continued)

Test Site: Ritz-Carlton
Central Park South
(foulmouthshirts.com)

Results: While the doorman pays only a passing glance, inside the lobby a stern-faced manager approaches. "Can I help you?" he asks. Finally, some indignation! I ask where the bar is and prepare to be tossed. "Very good, sir. It's just over there to your left," he says. Downing vodka tonics, I perch on a gilded stool as an array of elderly couples and power brokers in bespoke suits do double takes. Paying the tab, I ask about the bartender's lack of reaction. She shrugs: "It takes all kinds."

Test Site: MoBay Uptown
Harlem
(assholetshirts.com)

Results: A response! "That offends me deeply!" one woman tells me. "Do you know where that stereotype comes from? It's from back when white people used to think black men had tails. What are you doing coming to an area like this wearing something like that?!" she yells. "Want to find out what some of these brothers think?" An African American gentlemen strides over, plants himself inches away, looks me up and down slowly, and scowls. "Damn," he says finally. "Why are you wearing that Red Sox hat?"