(continued)

ROLE 2: THE WIFEY
Ah, the escapist allure of the Internet! You can be anyone in cyberspace: a beautiful princess, a hard-partying rock star, an Amazonian supermodel ... or a stressed-out, middle-aged wife.

Radarette: Let's role-play, okay? You're coming home from a long day of work.

Hubby: Mmm, baby. This is what I was waiting for all day.

Radarette: You're tired and hungry.

Hubby: I slouch down on the couch waiting for my lovely woman to come and see how my day was.

Radarette: I've reheated a bunch of leftovers that we're kind of picking at for dinner.

Hubby: I start to eat, the whole time watching you and grinning, thinking how lucky I am to have you.

Radarette: Do you mind that the salad is kind of wilted?

Hubby: No, the salad is fine, honey.

Radarette: I tend not to Saran Wrap the salads well, so they often go bad after a day.

Hubby: Trust me, I love everything you make.

Radarette: Thanks. I had a day, let me tell you. My mother kept calling and asking why she didn't have any grandchildren yet.

Hubby: Hahaha, she isn't going to be happy until she gets some, is she?

Radarette: She says I'm too old now.

Hubby: Well, how about we prove your mother wrong and work on getting her those grandchildren?

Radarette: Now we're done with dinner, and guess what's next?

Hubby: You know I hate it when you make me guess, honey.

Radarette: Netflix!!!

Hubby: What came in the mail today?

Radarette: We have two options: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days or Friends, season five.

Hubby: Let's go with Friends.

Radarette: That's what I wanted, too! I LOVE Phoebes [sic], and that Chandler is so funny with his wisecracks.

Hubby: Phoebe and Joey crack me up.

Radarette: Should we watch all 22 episodes in a row and go all ... night ... long?

Hubby: I'm up for a marathon.

Radarette: I'll make the no-salt popcorn. Watching my sodium intake.

Hubby: I'll go melt some butter.

Radarette: No, I can't have any butter, either.

Hubby: The butter is for me.

Radarette: Aren't you going to sacrifice on my behalf?

Hubby: Alright, alright, no butter. What do we have to drink?

Radarette: We have diet Ocean Spray cranberry juice, for that yeast infection I had last week, and O'Doul's, since I don't drink.

Hubby: I'll get a glass of water and set up the DVD player.

Radarette: Now, I want you to SLIDE the Friends disc into the player and make the show COME on.

Hubby: Hmmmm. That sounds like a two-person job to me.

Radarette: The damn DVD player won't open. I thought you got it repaired last weekend?

Hubby: I did. Hold on, there is something stuck in here.

Radarette: Is that copy of my Shaker Heights cousin's bar mitzvah video still inside?

Hubby: Hold on. Presses Eject, inspects the DVD. It's scratched.

Radarette: Do you want me to BLOW on it?

Hubby: I think it might help.

Radarette: Wait, my mother bought us a DVD repair kit for my birthday last year. It might work better.

Hubby: Where is it?

Radarette: Look in the closet, underneath my exercise ball.

Hubby: Opens closet and bends over to pick up the exercise ball

Radarette: Don't rearrange the closet too much. I spent all of yesterday organizing it.

Hubby: Okay. Moves the ball out of the way Ahh, here it is.

Radarette: Put the ball back EXACTLY where it was.

Hubby: You really enjoy busting my balls, don't you?

Radarette: It looks like you finally fixed something, for once. It's working. Did you hear what Chandler just said? "Could I BE any more upset?" lol!

Hubby: You and your Chandler.

Radarette: Now I'm getting sleepy. Are you?

Hubby: mmm hmmm.

Radarette: Okay Falls asleep

Hubby: Good night. Lightly kisses you on the lips and wraps arm around you

Radarette: Farts softly and contentedly

Radarette: That was great, baby. Let's do it again sometime.

Hubby: It was fun. Bye.