Knockoff Nation

The Radar guide to shopping for counterfeits

counterfeit-opener.jpg
FUGAZZI FABULOUS From iPod to Prada, the perfect fake is just a few clicks away

You know you want it: The high-performance sports car, the designer handbag, the Rolex. But the prices! So-called counterfeiters feel your pain, and they're doing everything they can—including putting themselves at tremendous personal risk—to make such items truly affordable, to take luxury out of the soft, deeply moisturized hands of the privileged few and bring it to the masses. Most of these so-called knockoffs come from China, where industrial prowess and lax intellectual property safeguards allow manufacturers to pump out generic products and plaster them with the brand names, logos, and labels we all know and trust. Unfortunately, since their goods are technically "illegal" due to certain mind-bogglingly arcane bureaucratic regulations, you won't find them in most stores and catalogs.

Hence, Radar's handy buyer's guide.

You need not be a high roller to dress in the same clothes, drive the same car, and pack the same heat as one. Get out there and shop till you drop. Or you get caught. Happy hunting!

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Genuine Article: Ferrari
Retail Price: $120,000–$150,000

Next best thing: The Chinese counterfeit of a 1967 Ferrari 330 P4, a model so hot only six were manufactured. Authorities in the EU seized the seventh in transit from China in spring 2006, but an eighth may very well be on its way. If you don't feel like waiting, try an American-made F355 Spyder replica. Most of these Ferrari fakes are knockoffs of '90s models built on Ford or Chevy frames, and can be had for between $10,000 and $40,000; peanuts, really, compared with the sticker price on a real one. At around $27,000, the F355 Spyder replica is considered the best on the market. Knockoffs of the Spyder often boast a full leather interior, quality stereo, high-powered substitute engine, and the prancing Ferrari logo on the steering wheel. And, hey, it's that Ferrari logo that really counts.

Legality: According to U.S. Customs and Border Protection spokesman Zachary Mann, replicators will sometimes make slight alterations to Ferrari designs (such as having a horse logo that faces right instead of left) in a bid to make their hot rods legal. It sounds nice in theory, but whether or not this actually absolves the counterfeiter of guilt is often decided in court, on a case-by-case basis.

How to get it: There's a good chance that a mechanic in your area stocks one or two of these bogus sports cars, so check your classifieds or eBay.

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Genuine Article: $100 bill

Next best thing: A handful of North Korean "Superdollars", supposedly the best counterfeits of American currency on the planet. Experts believe North Korea began circulating the phony greenbacks in the 1980s as a way to make extra money while undermining the American economy. Pyongyang, for its part, accuses the U.S. of printing the counterfeits in an attempt to incriminate the communist nation. Whoever's behind the fakes, they've done a great job: Superdollars have security threads, watermarks, and optically variable inks that are virtually identical to those of real bills, making them perfect for any expenditure. Better hurry, though; the number of Superdollars in circulation is waning as more and more forgers switch to the "SuperEuro."

Legality: Expect a fine in the thousands (and that's real dollars) and/or three or more years in prison, depending on the quantity and sophistication of your ersatz banknotes.

How to get it: Since entering North Korea can be a little tricky, the best way to get your hands on one of the remaining supernotes is to cozy up to a
North Korean diplomat
—ambassadors are allegedly the primary distribution channel for the funny money.


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Genuine Article: Box of Cohibas
Retail Price: $250

Next best thing: A box of five-cent cigars, relabeled to look like they're fresh off the inner tube. According to Zachary Mann, the fakes are packaged in specially made boxes with phony tax stamps, to satisfy even the most discriminating black-market buyer. Peddlers sell the counterfeits to tourists in places like Miami's South Beach, under the premise that the cigars were just smuggled in from Cuba by some enterprising family member. Unsuspecting buyers may pay the full street price of $250, but those in the know can haggle the price down to $175 or lower.

Legality: At the very least, offenders can expect to be spanked with a fine for not paying the federal and state taxes on tobacco sales. Consequences for sellers and smugglers, on the other hand, can be more dire. A lawyer who was caught smuggling Cubans into the U.S. was slapped with a $60,000 fine and three years in the slammer for charges ranging from smuggling and lying to a passport officer to trading with the enemy and conspiracy. Apparently, 44 years after the fact, U.S. officials are still taking this whole "starve communism to death" thing seriously.

How to get it: Cruise through South Beach and scope out the alleys and boardwalks along Ocean Drive.

Continue >>

 


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