This Independence Day, Radar pays tribute to revolutions that flopped

Had George Washington bungled the job as badly as the failed revolutionaries below, we'd all be spending the Fourth of July at work, nibbling bland, floury baked goods over tea. So as you wash down your burger with a frosty cup of American Freedom this Independence Day, give thanks to our forefathers, those powdery wigged supermen who knew how to pull off a decent coup. And be glad we didn't have guys on the case like Tupac Amaru of Peru, who wound up getting ripped limb from limb by horses. On the following pages, a few revolts that didn't go as well as planned.

OUT OF AFRICA Simon Mann, left, the leader of a group arrested for trying to topple
the president of Equatorial Guinea. Right, Mark Thatcher arriving at
court with his legal team

Wonga Coup, Equatorial Guinea (March 2004)
Lost Cause These days, rich, white businessmen have good reason to think the world is theirs for the taking. But it turns out that overthrowing the dictator of an oil-rich African country for personal profit is still a bit of an over-reach.
Colorful Conspirator Former British special forces officer and alleged coup ringleader Simon Mann assembled a motley crew of South Africans, Armenians, Equatorial Guineans, and a German, basing his plans on a Frederick Forsyth novel, Dogs of War.
Worth Remembering Mann got busted for arms-running, but not before recruiting Margaret Thatcher's playboy son Mark to help finance the helicopters that transported his mercenaries.
Why It Flopped Equatorial Guinean authorities, who discovered the plot early on, arrested an advance party of 15 men, then gave Mann the stiff arm when he arrived at the Zimbabwean international airport with 70 soldiers.
Aftermath Mann was convicted of immigration offenses and illegal arms-buying; he served two-thirds of his four-year sentence—a cakewalk compared with the 34 years allotted to South African conspirator Nick du Toit. Meanwhile, Mark Thatcher was fined $500,000 and given a four-year suspended jail term. Later, he tried to get visas and residency in the United States and Monaco. Request denied.