The Venice Biennale has Radar wondering ...

BIG IN VENICE? "Wook! I painteded a pitcher!"

Last weekend, thousands of art-world swells converged on Venice, Italy, to celebrate the opening of the city's Biennale, the super exclusive art fair that's the equivalent of the Oscars to the international gallery set. Every two years, a panel of fine-art heavyweights convene in the watery city to anoint the world's most cutting edge provocateurs. The Biennale has always generated its share of controversy, assailed by excluded artists and laypeople alike as a pretentious parade of overpriced garbage.
According to London's Guardian, tony auction houses like Sotheby's, Christies, and Phillips de Pury & Co enjoyed their best year ever in 2006, taking in $837 million in sales, thanks to hedge-fund managers and Russian oligarchs looking to establish their culture cred by throwing down a few hundred thou for a gold-dusted piece of excrement.

Since the Biennale runs through November 21, there's still time to fly in and discover the next Damien Hirst. But are you sharp enough to tell the difference between a celebrated work by a Biennale-approved artist and, say, a piece by a 7-year-old, a convict, or a mental patient?

Test your inner Gagosian against your B.S. Meter with Radar's very special quiz.

ANSWER: A 7-Year-Old. Marla Olmstead of Binghamton, New York, who, according to her website, enjoys "reading, cooking, and gymnastics but is at her most joyful and expressive before the canvas."

Biennale artist? Or mental patient?

ANSWER: Biennale conceptual artist Nedko Solakov, of Bulgaria. One critic says his work "hones in on the dysfunctionality of cultural codes and stereotypes and the psychodrama of collective neurosis."

Biennale artist? Or yard sale discovery?

ANSWER: One of three paintings composing the "Trittico" series by Frances Bacon. Part of the 51st Biennale Art Exhibition in 2005.

Biennale artist? Or convict?

ANSWER: Convict. Murray Stephens, who convictartgallery.com describes as "prolithic [sic] and talented."

Biennale artist? Or blind woman?

ANSWER: Blind woman. The painting, Hong Kong, by Lisa Fittipaldi, is priced at $19,950.

Biennale artist? Or convict?

ANSWER: Artist. Cheri Samba from the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Biennale artist? Or mentally disabled person?

ANSWER: Mentally disabled person. Eileen Schofield, whose work can be bought through Paypal and ranges from $50 to $180.

Biennale artist? Or artistically inclined animal?

ANSWER: Elephant. This painting, We Are All One, was painted by an elephant named Japatee and sells for $297.