Power-spouse Gigi Grazer on Hollywood husbands and the 10-year ditch

starter wife \stahr-ter wahyf\ n: long-suffering woman who marries and emotionally supports a man through his lean years—maybe paying his way through medical school, or holding his hand while he auditions for non-speaking roles. Once he's reached the pinnacle of success and is making millions pumping lips full of collagen or gracing the silver screen, the starter wife is kicked to the curb in favor of a younger or more famous new mate. In Los Angeles, this often happens right before the 10th anniversary, as California law states that after 10 years, a husband can be made to pay alimony indefinitely.

to be Cruised \crooz-ed\ vb: to be canned just shy of one's 10th anniversary, in the manner of Nicole Kidman, who was discarded by Tom Cruise shortly before the decade mark. Coined by Hollywood mega-producer Brian Grazer.

Novelist Gigi Levangie Grazer, wife of Brian, may not have coined the term starter wife, but she certainly popularized it. First there was her New York Times best-seller about a fully plucked, manicured, botoxed Hollywood spouse who gets Cruised by her big-time studio exec hubby. And now The Starter Wife is a miniseries starring Debra Messing airing over the next six weeks on USA. The term is poised to become a permanent addition to the pop-culture lexicon.

Radar spoke with Gigi while she was driving around Los Angeles, though she warned us with a raspy giggle that she might be more PG than usual: "My kid's gonna be in the car. I hate to expose him to my working life. He thinks I just cook all day!" Gigi gave us advice on avoiding the pitfalls of starter wife- (and husband-) dom and navigating Hollywood men, and told us about how she was almost Cruised last year.

You know you're a starter wife when... "your husband starts wearing an earring, shaving his private parts, or listening to Ludacris."

Often the starter wife is the last one to know she's getting the ax. One day she's inviting Brad and Ang for mojitos and getting a brow lift; the next she's signing divorce papers and moving to (gasp!) the east side of what Gigi calls "the universally recognized border of La Cienega Boulevard." How do you know you're about to get dumped for the nanny (as was Robin Williams's first wife)? According to Grazer, like most things in Hollywood, the signs are superficial. If you hear "This is why I'm hot," emanating from the shower, which is littered with your middle-age hubby's pubes, call a divorce lawyer, stat.

Once you've realized you are the starter wife ... "check your prenup."

"Put it under a microscope," Gigi advises. "I know some women stash cash away every week" in anticipation of their future dumpings. The worst thing you can do, says Gigi, is grovel. "He's going to leave. Throwing yourself on the floor and wrapping yourself around his legs isn't going to help matters."

It also helps to have a job, but since most Hollywood wives consider managing their fleet of maids a full-time occupation, this might be a problem. Gigi is optimistic about the starter wife's prospects if she is willing to accept her fate. "It could be a blessing in disguise!" Actress Amy Irving, Steven Spielberg's first wife, is someone who made the starter wife stigma work for her. After contesting their prenup in court because it was allegedly scrawled on a napkin, Irving got an estimated $100 million from Spielberg even though they had only been married for about four years. Though she may have had trouble finding parts at first because people were afraid of offending her all-powerful ex, Amy continues to act in acclaimed films like Traffic and Thirteen Conversations About One Thing.