Fossil Fool

How Imus makes the case for ageism in TV

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OUT TO PASTURE Ask not for whom the cowbell tolls...

Don Imus is finished, and we all know what that means: The Imus comeback is just around the corner. If Mel Gibson can rally after blaming Jews for all the world's wars, a few nappy-headed hos can't stop radio's original bad boy from rising again. It's only a matter of time before the craggy-faced, mush-mouthed serial offender finds a new home—perhaps on satellite radio, where standards are looser and advertiser boycotts aren't such a threat. When he does return, it will be to cheers from those who consider him a victim of political correctness.

When he uttered those three words that landed him in so much trouble, for once Imus wasn't trying to sound controversial. He was trying, transparently and rather pathetically, to sound coolThat's too bad, because CBS Radio and MSNBC were right to rid themselves of Imus—but not for the obvious reasons. Imus has always been a bigot. The difference is now, at 66, he's too old to realize when he sounds like one.

Imus's record leaves little doubt that he, like a lot of people who grew up before the civil rights movement, harbors some pretty unenlightened views on black people (and Jews, gays, women, dwarves, etc.). But when he uttered those three words that landed him in so much trouble, for once Imus wasn't trying to sound controversial. He was trying, transparently and rather pathetically, to sound cool.

Imus didn't use just any language to disparage the Rutgers Lady Knights. He did it in the unseemly pose of an aged white suburbanite co-opting black slang. "Ho" is a word most white Americans became familiar with only after it started turning up in hip-hop lyrics in the early '90s, while "nappy-headed" is a term used overwhelmingly by black people in reference to themselves. When it came time to defend himself, Imus dipped deep into his shoe polish jar of black idiom, imploring Al Sharpton to stop talking "jive" and referring to himself as a "cracker." Another 20 minutes on Sharpton's rack and we might have gotten a "fo' shizzle."

Defending Imus in the Los Angeles Times, Michael Harrison, editor of the radio-industry trade publication Talkers, more or less acknowledged that the I-man was guilty of trying to talk "street": "'Bitch' and 'ho' are so prevalent in music, radio, television and the movies these days that it's reached the point where white people think it's okay to say these things," he said. "It's like a game of musical chairs where they stopped playing the music and the spotlight happened to be on him."

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