The Academy Awards are tired, but the Oscar statuette remains a design classic—unlike these 10 highly coveted atrocities

The Academy Awards have become one huge foregone conclusion—even my half-blind beagle, Gus, knows who's going to win. Among his other complaints: too many "greige" gowns and a distinct shortage of Debbie Allen production numbers (video clips of Allen's 1999 Saving Private Ryan tap dance still make his hind legs spasm with joy).

One thing we continue to admire, however, is the statuette itself. Designed in 1929 by legendary MGM art director Cedric Gibbons, the Oscar is restrained. Though its Art Deco "crusader" is admittedly naked, he does not arch his back suggestively like the slutty Emmy or swivel like the Tony. He would never appear in public with Jimmy Kimmel like the American Music Award.

Most importantly, unlike the majority of award statuettes designed in recent years, the Oscar does not strain to be unique. It is not pointy or see-through or, in any way, an abstraction of a cowboy hat. The beagle and I would proudly display one on our $249.99 Bjursta sideboard from IKEA. The same cannot be said, however, of these 10 awkward designs, currently in tight contention for one of Radar's lowest honors, "The Ugliest Award in the World."

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	The August Derleth Award BRITAIN It looks like a bodybuilding award for gargoyles, but the British Fantasy Society's statuette actually goes to outstanding fantasy novelists—who promptly start fantasizing that they've won something less hideous.
	The Gemini CANADA We're guessing this Canadian television award is meant to be a visual metaphor for "the person behind the struggle to create the image." Or maybe for "the person behind the struggle to graciously accept a cheesy metaphor."