Africa is already burdened by plague and pestilence, but Clay Aiken?

Since the start of the new millennium, celebrities have descended on Africa like Danny DeVito on open-bar limoncello shots. For Hollywood, the pilgrimage has become as obligatory as a New Hampshire campaign stop for presidential candidates. The year is less than a month old and has already seen hot-celebrity-on-Africa action, with Oprah Winfrey opening her school for girls in South Africa, as guests Sidney Poitier, Spike Lee, Mariah Carey, Chris Tucker, Tina Turner, and Mary J. Blige looked on.

While the majority of these luminaries have nothing but the best of intentions, others are cashing in on the powerful allure of the Third-World-as-accessory trend. But most of us ugly Americans don't know our Djibouti from our Angola. To gain some socio-geographical insight, we tracked celebrity migratory patterns over the past decade or so, tabulating everything from goodwill ambassador visits (Jessica Simpson in Kenya! Clay Aiken in Uganda!) to films shot in and about Africa (Brad in Babel, Leonardo in Blood Diamond) to the celebrity baby abductions adoptions. It's a starfari! You may come across poisonous insects, rhinos, or Geri Halliwell, so make sure to get your shots.

Ghana
Bono: Went to Ghana as part of his six-nation African fact-finding tour. (2006)

Guinea-Bissau
David Beckham: Mr. Posh Spice starred in a charity soccer game with Zinedane "Headbutt Heard Around the World" Zidane to benefit anti-poverty projects in Guinea-Bissau. (2004)

Ivory Coast
Laurence Fishburne: Visited the Ivory Coast as a UNICEF ambassador. (1997)

Liberia
Angelina Jolie: AnJo donated 50 sewing machines to Liberian refugee camp.

Mali
Bono: Traveled to Mali as part of his six-nation African fact-finding tour. (2006)

Morocco
Jerry Bruckheimer: Contestants in his show The Amazing Race (he's executive producer) competed in Morocco by racing like ancient gladiators on chariots and crushing olives with a big wheel. (2006)

Niger
Matthew McConaughey/Penelope Cruz: The "Sexiest Man Alive" and the Ralph Lauren model starred in Sahara, an African road movie that goes through Niger. (2005)

Nigeria
Bruce Willis/Monica Bellucci: This Beauty and the Beast-duo starred in Tears of the Sun, in which special-ops commander Willis rescues Dr. Bellucci from a Nigerian jungle. How do you say "Yippee-ka-yay, motherfucker" in Yoruban? (2003)

Oprah Winfrey: Encouraged her fans to send protest e-mails to the Nigerian ambassador to the U.S. when a Nigerian court sentenced Amina Lawal to death by stoning for allegedly having sex as a divorcée. Nigeria freed Lawal in the wake of international outrage. (2003)

Sierra Leone
Leonardo DiCaprio/Jennifer Connelly: The duo shot Blood Diamond, restarting a PR stir in the diamond industry.

Tunisia
Darth Vader: Four of the Star Wars movies were filmed in the Tunisian section of Tataouine—and Tunisia has since been memorialized in pop-culture history when the name of a planet in the film (and thus the geek Star Wars universe) was dubbed Tatooine (most recent film, Revenge of the Sith, 2005).

Egypt
Angelina Jolie: Comforted Sudanese refugees on a visit to Cairo. Yes, we know. She gets around. (2003)

Eritrea
Vendela: Scandinavian supermodel comforted many with her Teutonic warmth on a visit as a goodwill ambassador to Eritrea. (2003)

Ethiopia
Bono/then-U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Paul O'Neill: Stopped in Ethiopia on their four-nation tour of sub-Saharan African nations. The Edge's status as favorite Bono sidekick in jeopardy. (2002)

Brad Pitt: Made a fact-finding mission (!!) to Ethiopia for the ONE campaign, the American charity fighting global AIDS and poverty. (2004)

Libya
Keanu Reeves/Ben Kingsley: Ghandi and Bill (or is it Ted?) will star in the upcoming Tripoli, set in pre-Quaddafi Libya. (2007)

Sudan
Matt Dillon: The Flamingo Kid was denied a visa by the Sudanese government when he tried to visit Darfur. (2006)

Democratic Republic of Congo
Will Smith/Jon Voight: The twosome starred in Ali, much of which took place in the D.R. of Congo, then known as Zaire (2001). Bonus: Voight is reigning celebrity Africa-visiting champ Angelina Jolie's dad.

Jessica Lange: Star of inferior King Kong remake (1976) made a goodwill ambassador visit to the D.R. of Congo. (2003)

Kenya
Brangelina: The first photo taken of these two crazy kids together after they jettisoned Jennifer Aniston was on the Kenyan coast. It was reported that the two made such passionate noises at night that security staff was dispatched to make sure they weren't being attacked by animals. (2005)

Jessica Simpson: Daisy Duke made a visit here as International Youth Ambassador for Operation Smile. She knew it was over with ex-husband Nick when he declined to join her. (2006)

Ralph Fiennes/Rachel Weisz: Starred in The Constant Gardener, set and filmed in Kenya. The non-stop gardening won Weisz an Oscar. (2005)

Ethan Zohn: The soccer stud won Survivor: Africa here, beating out such competitors as tattooed Lex and goat-farmer Tom. (2002)

Rwanda
Debra Winger: Starred in Sometimes in April, as American ambassador to Rwanda Prudence Bushnell. This one was actually shot in Rwanda, while Hotel Rwanda was shot in South Africa. (2005)

Michael Jackson: Wacko Jacko announced a plan to visit Rwanda next summer to look into children's welfare there. No word yet on whether he will meet songwriter Simon Bikindi, the "Michael Jackson of Rwanda," who is on trial for genocide. (2007)

Tanzania
Susan Sarandon: Made a goodwill ambassador visit to Tanzania. (2000)

Uganda
Forest Whitaker: Starred in The Last King of Scotland, about Ugandan dictator Idi Amin. (2006)

Clay Aiken: The American Idol runner-up—and object of affection for ickily named "Claymates"—visited Uganda as a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF. (2005)

Angelina Jolie: Comforted Angolan refugees in Namibia during downtime filming Beyond Borders. (2002)

Jay-Z: During a 2006 tour, Jigga filmed the MTV documentary Diary of Jay-Z: Water for Life in Angola. He then played a gig in Luanda, the capital, at the Cine Karl Marx. (2006)

Mia Farrow: During a goodwill ambassador trip to Angola for UNICEF, Farrow caught malaria. Subsequent treatments nearly made her deaf. (2002)

Botswana
Russell Simmons: Went on a fact-finding tour of Botswana to learn about labor practices in diamond mines. He declared the mines "99.75 percent clean." Oh, he and wife Kimora Lee own Simmons Jewelry Co., which sells—you guessed it —diamonds. (2006)

Jerry Bruckheimer: Contestants in his show The Amazing Race (he's executive producer) competed in Botswana by sucking water from an underground spring and spitting it into ostrich eggs. (2005)

Lesotho
Bono: Came to Lesotho as part of his six-nation African fact-finding tour. (2006)

Lucy Liu: The Angel visited as a UNICEF celebrity ambassador. (2005)

Madagascar
Jerry Bruckheimer: Contestants in his show The Amazing Race (he's executive producer) competed in Madagascar by having to eat one full serving of cow lips, a local delicacy. (2006)

Malawi
Madonna: The pop singer apparently absconded with a baby, David, from Malawi, causing an international uproar. She also funded an orphanage where children drink water from wells filled with pure Kaballah water. (2006)

Ewan McGregor: Obi-Wan Kenobi visited here on his first field trip as a UNICEF UK ambassador. (2005)

Mozambique
Liam Neeson: Herr Schindler made a goodwill ambassador visit to Mozambique for UNICEF IRELAND. (2005)

Namibia
Brangelina: Its daughter, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, was born in the Cottage hospital in Swakopmund, Namibia. (2006)

Clive Owen: Starred in Beyond Borders, which partially takes place in Namibia. (2003).

Angelina Jolie: Comforted Angolan refugees in Namibia as a goodwill ambassador. (2002)

South Africa
Don Cheadle/Nick Nolte: The pair starred in Hotel Rwanda, the Oscar-nominated story of one man's witness to genocide, shot in South Africa. (2004)

Oprah Winfrey: Cut the ribbon of the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa, as guest celebrities Spike Lee, Tina Turner, Chris Tucker, Mariah Carey, Sidney Poitier, and Mary J. Blige looked on. (2007)

Dave Chappelle: The one-time Comedy Central star hid out in South Africa while "not" having a nervous breakdown. (2005)

Sean Astin: This hobbit is also the narrator of the cult hit TV show on Animal Planet, Meerkat Manor, which is filmed in South Africa's Kalahari Desert.

Bill Clinton/Kami: The former U.S. president and the current South African Muppet who is HIV-positive shot a public-service announcement to deliver a message about AIDS. Clinton kept his cigar in his holster. (2006)

Brad Pitt: Went on a fact-finding mission (!!) for the ONE campaign. (2005)

Zambia
Geri Halliwell: Ginger Spice brought her Girl Power to Zambia in her capacity as a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF. (2006)

Matt Damon: Affleck's buddy visited Zambia as a guest of the Africa advocacy group DATA (Debt AIDS Trade Africa) and the ONE campaign (2006). Damon also narrates the upcoming documentary Running the Sahara about guys who run across the Sahara.

Naomi Watts: Star of King Kong made a goodwill ambassador visit to Zambia as a special representative of the United Nations AIDS (UNAIDS). (2006)

Zimbabwe
Bono: His fans conduct an annual "Build a Well for Bono's Birthday" campaign. So far, funds have been raised to build wells in Uganda, Ethiopia, Angola, and, most recently, Zimbabwe. No funds have been raised to buy this middle-aged man a more age-appropriate pair of sunglasses. (2006)