(Continued...)

Chain of Command (2005)

By: Former defense secretary Caspar Weinberger and Peter Schweizer

The Plot: Straight out of 24. The president manufactures a terrorist threat to duck the Constitution and establish a police state. The plan goes awry, and POTUS is assassinated by a rogue Secret Service agent. Are there real terrorists afoot?

Rave Reviews: "The logical shortcuts and genre cliches pile up higher than the Washington Monument."—Thom Geier, Entertainment Weekly (Speaking of which, several factual errors are listed on the Amazon.com review page.)

Excerpt: "Go ahead, Mike. Rub it in, Mr. Pure-as-the-driven-snow. So it was a scam. At least I'm not some federal storm trooper out there burning up children in Waco or blowing away women at Ruby Ridge."
"Spare me that, would you?"
Paul Miller put his face in his hands and began to sob.
"You got yourself into this," Delaney said. "Act like a man for once."
Miller looked up, his blue eyes gone wet and red. "He's going to kill me," he said.
"Who is? The paymaster?"
"Of course not. He's just a pawn like me."

The Legacy: Weinberger, who was in his late-80s when the book was published, died shortly after publication. We can only hope that historians will dwell on the good times, like his involvement in the Iran-Contra affair, and leave this ugly nonfiction business on the editing room floor.

Price on Amazon: $.01

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187 Men to Avoid: A Guide for the Romantically Frustrated Woman (1995)

By: Blythe and Danielle Brown, aka The Da Vinci Code's Dan Brown
The Plot: Strong on stereotypes like meatheads and sissies, plus some timeless references to things like Pepsi Clear, pump sneakers, McLean sandwiches, stuffed Garfield dolls, and "Baby on Board" signs.
Excerpt: Avoid... "Men who read women's books (like this one)," "Men who write self help books for women," "Men who own dogs that are smaller than cats," "Men who struggle to decide between Original Recipe and Extra Crispy," "Men who think farting is cute."
Rave Reviews: "Little more than a warmed-over version of Real Men Don't Eat Quiche."—Philadelphia Inquirerer
Don't Miss: The recent shameless "re-release" with Dan's real name on the cover. We'll see if the same happens with 1998's The Bald Book, another attempt at humor co-written by the Browns (that time, Dan let his wife have all the credit.)
Price on Amazon: $1.76