Radar nominates the most bogus awards in America

Sure, it's a great idea, but did your new invention win Strunk and White's 2007 Technology Innovation of the Year award? Didn't think so. There's no such thing—yet. Send us $50 and we can work something out.

In the rapidly expanding world of awards marketing, winning is rarely free. In fact, the dirty little secret is that it just might be better to give an award than to receive one, thanks to an ingenious pay-to-play model that involves perfunctory judging, zero accountability, and very little overhead—not to mention an extremely gullible public. Such prizes are now given out in the thousands every year. And some people have actually started making money compiling them into lists, people like Lynne Marcus, who charges $595 for her reference tome, Marketing with Honors. She also consults for companies seeking to give out awards, while at the same time collecting fees from companies hoping to win them. (No conflict here, she says: "If I'm running a competition, I try not to help people win it, too.")

Marcus admits that most corporate honors are far from scientific, or even reliable, because the vast majority are bestowed by for-profit enterprises. Many don't even pretend to be impartial; they just want the entry fee. In exchange, recipients can use their spurious accolades to convince the public to buy what they're selling. The system works, says Marcus, because "if you've won lots and lots of awards, consumers will believe you know what you're doing." That explains, for example, why Dell dedicates a major part of its website to the dozens of awards its won, including the prestigious Buyers Laboratory Inc. Outstanding Small Workgroup Color Printer Award. And why ExxonMobil, the world's largest oil company, crows online about the 54 awards its garnered in the categories of Health and Safety, Environment, and Social Responsibility.

In the spirit of competition, we took a closer look at some of the most grievous offenders in the field. The envelope, please ...

THE STEVIES
Winner of the 2006 Bogie for Best Pretend Business Awards

Given in four categories—
American Business, International Business, Women in Business, and Selling Power Sales Excellence—the Stevie Awards are the brainchild of Michael Gallagher who, after years in the media and tech industries, saw an opportunity to fill a desperate need for "the Oscars of business." He takes care of his own needs by charging entry fees up to $425 for consideration in 300 separate categories. Nominees have the option to buy $355 tickets to the gala, $1,200 ads in the banquet program, and $500 for the trophy if they happen to win. Gallagher gets companies like Pitney Bowes to sponsor the ceremony, offsetting his overhead costs. And since the awards are based on unverified applications filled out by entrants, you can cross off judging expenditures too.