(Continued...)

4. Leatherface (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 1974)

Conveniently, everyone's favorite mentally-deficient cannibal lives in a house frequented by lost teenage motorists.

Played by: Gunnar Hansen

Kills with: Chainsaw.

Why We Love Him: He's got love-handles.

Rationale for bloodlust: Descended from a family of big people eaters, Leatherface is only trying to do right by putting food on the table.

Origin of disfigurement: Born in a meat factory and discarded in a dumpster, he developed a dermatological disease that eroded his face.

Loosely based on: Ed Gein, the 1950s serial killer who fashioned his numerous victims into skin suits, lampshades, nipple belts, and armchairs. Gein saw sex as a one-way ticket to hell, but didn't have a problem slaughtering women (usually around age 54, just like mom!) so he could wear their genitalia. Gein's craftsmanship also inspired Silence of the Lamb's Buffalo Bill, not to mention Psycho's Norman Bates.

Sexual orientation: Trannie. At dinnertime, he throws on a lace apron and a "pretty woman" skin mask.

Achilles' Heel: Insults from his brothers, Chop Top and Nubbins, distract him from sawing up his potential victims.

Up next: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, released this month, rolls back the clock to Vietnam-era America to tell the story of Leatherface's childhood.

Where are they now? After turning down a part in Wes Craven's The Hills Have Eyes, Hansen went back to grad school for English and Scandinavian studies. The hulking Icelander now spends his days writing poetry and making indie films. You can pick up a copy of his non-fiction book about America's Barrier Islands here.

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3. 112 Ocean Avenue (The Amityville Horror, 1979)

Once the site of a mass murder, this Long Island Dutch Colonial with great natural light and a huge backyard will make your life a living hell.

Played by: A Long Island Dutch Colonial with great natural light and a huge backyard

Kills/scares with: Unpleasant odors, bugs, possessed pigs, spooky windows that look like eyes.

Why we love it: For the imaginary study called "The Red Room" that only appears to its victims during hauntings. And it wasn't even mentioned in the listing.

Rationale for bloodlust: Haunted by a family of pissed-off ghosts, murdered on the premises in 1974.

Origin of disfigurement: As far as suburban starter homes go, it's a little low on charm. But bloodstains and bullet holes are nothing a fresh coat of paint can't fix.

Loosely based on: The dubious accounts of the Lutz family, onetime residents of 112 Ocean Ave. Thirteen months after Ronald DeFeo, Jr. murdered his parents and four siblings there in 1974, George and Kathy Lutz moved in with their three children. After a year of acute buyer's remorse, they finally moved out. The book and film are supposedly based on the family's spectral recollections; however, Ronald DeFeo, Jr.'s lawyer later claimed that he and Mr. Lutz had "created this horror story over many bottles of wine." Although Lutz eventually copped to some embellishment, he denied the haunting was a hoax to his dying day, which was precipitated by natural causes earlier this year.

Sexual orientation: Home-asexual.

Achilles' Heel: Prayers and blessings might intimidate the ghosts, but, really, just move out already. Also, termites and mortgage rates.

Up next: After the 2005 remake starring Alanis Morissette's boyfriend, Ryan Reynolds, Amityville was boarded up for good.

Where is it now? Surrounded by homes worth more than $700,000, the dilapidated domicile was bought by a guy named Brian Wilson (no Beach-Boy relation) in 1996. Soon after, Wilson changed the home's address to 108 Ocean Avenue in a vain attempt to throw off the camera-toting crazies who still mob the site.