RADAR EXCLUSIVE: Open Letter To Heidi Montag From Her Estranged Mom: 'It's Time For Us To Heal'

Heidi Montag's estranged mom, Darlene Egelhoff, has written an open letter to her daughter begging for a reconciliation, and only RadarOnline.com has the letter.

Egelhoff and Montag haven't spoken in nearly nine months since they shot an episode of The Hills during which Egelhoff said her daughter didn't "look good" after undergoing ten plastic surgery procedures in one day.

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But in RadarOnline.com's world exclusive, Egelhoff reveals in the candid letter that she also has body issues and battled an eating disorder. She tells 24-year-old Heidi that she won't "find herself" or "purpose in the superficial".

Read the letter below, as Engelhoff addresses her daughter and son-in-law Spencer, saying, "it's time for all of us to heal."

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Egelhoff also shares with RadarOnline.com some of her favorite photos of Heidi as a child.

Here is Egelhoff's letter to Heidi:

My dearest Heids,

Don't smile....Doooon't smile!... DON'T SMILE! AH! YOU SMILED! (: C'mon Heids... this is me we're talking about!  We were as close as any mother and daughter could be and we could be again after only one glimpse into each others eyes, just one hug and we could pick up right where we left off, or maybe even skip ahead a little if you want. What you and I are experiencing is so common to millions of women in this world, not even exaggerating.

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Thousands of people have reached out to me from many different countries in great pain in hopes of connecting or finding help with exactly what you and I are going through. They are a very broad demographic from teenagers to grandmothers in agony over estranged relationships and distorted body images, just like us. Both of our cases are severe and very much in the public eye with ours manifesting in your case admittedly plastic surgery and in my case a life robbing eating disorder, both which nearly claimed each of our lives.

Our issues are cross generational. Imagine what we could accomplish together with God as two bright, loving, aware, psychologically minded, insightful, (dramatic) empathetic, loving, women if we could set ourselves aside and dig deeper into a realm of personal discovery to get to the root of our issues, as painful as they may be, and share our healing with others?

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What a contribution you could make and help so many. You have always been destined to do great things, everyone who has ever known you since childhood knows this and likely most who have ever met you since. It has always been your heart to share God and help others since you were eight years old up at the pulpit giving testimony to the congregation. "Could everyone please open their Bibles to 1st Peter chapter..." or leading "The Butter Cream 'Good Doers' Gang" with Hayden (who wants so badly to talk to you by the way) and Cheyenne, of which you even made the cover of Guideposts magazine for.

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You have been greatly blessed. God says "To whom much is given, much is expected". You are a natural leader, encourager, teacher and minister with great compassion; that is your essence. You could have a highly successful career as an author and motivational speaker with beautiful messages of strength and healing, empowering women, affecting millions, bringing you great purpose, satisfaction and Joy.

"The joy of the Lord is your strength". You cannot find your self or your purpose in the superficial. It will never bring you what your heart is looking for. It will always leave you wanting more. It's understandable that you would be hurt and that Spencer would react in an effort to be protective but it's time for all of us to heal.

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God's number one commandment is to love, above all else, first Him and then each other. Unforgiveness is the root of pride and selfishness; it mostly hurts the one who holds onto it. We go about our lives taking time for granted as if we'll always be here. We are just a mist in the universe created for a greater purpose. You are exceptional, loving, sweet, kind, generous, thoughtful and caring.  You have elegance and a spark like no other that the world has fallen in love with and so badly is rooting for.

There is so much pain and suffering in the world. God has called you to do great things "For such a time as this". You have an opportunity to model positive, conscientious, difficult choices and make a difference in the world, contributing to so many other broken relationships beginning by stepping outside of your self and reaching out to us, to me in the spirit of reconciliation. That is the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Christ. God sent his one and only Son to reconcile Himself with man, your personal favorite scripture, John 3:16.

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I love you more than life, and you know that. I can only speak the truth to you even though it has cost me our relationship; I expect the same in return, in person.  I have no desire to control your life. I know you feel I don't understand you, but I want to, please give me a chance.  We are both adult enough and mature enough to be able to disagree yet still have a loving, contributing relationship. It seems to me you think you can't live in two worlds so you've eliminated us to protect and preserve your relationship with Spencer, untrue.

Every interview I did I said only positive things about Spencer, that he is a very generous; loving man who is hurting and believes he is protecting his wife. I have never blamed him for anything to anyone; I preach personal responsibility as you well know. I can honestly say that I love Spencer, I see him through mommy goggles and God's eyes, he is my son-in-law.

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Clearly that does not make for good TV as it repeatedly ended up on the cutting room floor. There are no functional families, that's a myth, ours is far from perfect but we all love you more than you can imagine and miss you enormously. Please, let's all get together, put everything on the table, get it all out and move on in love, we could be one big happy family with a true Hollywood ending and Spencer can write a screenplay about it and get rich. I just want my daughter back. Sky and Holly, more than anything else, want their sister back.

My love for you is permanent and forever and my deep feelings for you will never change.   I love you more everyday, unconditionally. I am clearly desperate to be trying to reach you like this; I don't know what else to do. I hope you can see it's just me, mom who wants her little angel back. PLEEEEEEAAASSEEE CALL ME!!!

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All my love always, EIS! Kis... mom XOXOXOX

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• TAGS
• Darlene Egelhoff
• exclusive
• Heidi Montag
• Spencer Pratt
• The Hills