EXCLUSIVE: Bachelorette Julien Hug's Heartbreaking Suicide Note: 'If Life's Not Enjoyable, Why Stick Around?'
Posted on Nov 13, 2010 @ 02:00AM
The reality television star who shot himself in a Californian desert wrote a heartbreaking suicide note to his parents, in which he said: "If life's not enjoyable, why stick around?"
Julien Hug, 35, left the handwritten note for Bertrand and Denise Hug, explaining he was suffering from “severe depression” and felt suicide was the only way out.
"I feel terribly about the grief I've caused," Hug, a one-time contestant on The Bachelorette wrote.
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"This will hurt you… I'm sorry to have to do this to you... I love you both tremendously."
The restaurateur said: “People will think I took the easy way out. I say I took the smart way out.”
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Hug was a contestant in the ABC show, a spinoff of the network's competitive dating show The Bachelor, in May 2009.
Jillian Harris passed him over for Ed Swiderski.
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His note read as follows:
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm sorry to do this. I feel terribly about the grief I've caused. The phantom stomach aches that I have hurts me tremendously. I've suffered from severe depression for years. I feel awful and don't know how to cope. If life's not enjoyable, why stick around? This will hurt you. I'm sorry to have to do this to you. I love you both tremendously. You two are the best parents. You both are 99.999999999 better than most. You guys did it right.
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I am so sorry to do this to you. I feel only love for you mom and dad. But I'm terribly sad everyday. I hurt. People will think I took the easy way out. I say I took the smart way out.
Tell everyone I love them. Make sure everyone knows that I just want to be in peace. I love everyone. I'm so sorry to have to do this.
It's the only way I know how.
Julien.
Hug's body was found last Wednesday in the remote Pinyon Pines area off Highway 74 in Riverside County, about 90 miles east of Los Angeles.
The suicide note was read at his funeral on Friday at the Village Church in Rancho Santa Fe, California.
Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
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The Daily Juice
I was deeply depressed for many years & some friends & family would say "You don't have anything to be depressed about" That's the worst thing anyone can say. It makes the depressed person feel guilty.
Posted Sat, 11/13/2010 - 8:56pm
This kind of depression isn't that something "happened" but chemical. There is no escape if it's chemical and I don't think people realize that it's not NORMAL to feel like this. That there is a medical reason that they are feeling this way
Posted Sat, 11/13/2010 - 8:14pm
That was his last conscious decision. And it was a bad one.
Posted Sat, 11/13/2010 - 4:46pm
Those calling him creepy/selfish should be ashamed-u r part of the problem.Avg person doesn't want 2b around one who's depressed.Dep pple know this & isolate themselves.If you've never been clinically depressed,count ur blessings & stop name-calling.
Posted Sat, 11/13/2010 - 4:16pm
ITA!!!!!!
Posted Sat, 11/13/2010 - 8:07pm
He should of could of cried out for help. Given people who love him a chance to save him and show him that life CAN get better. What a waste of a human life.
Posted Sat, 11/13/2010 - 11:42am
Sometimes you can scream and no one hears you
Posted Sat, 11/13/2010 - 8:08pm
I don't care how depressed you are, anyone that blows their head off and does this to their family is a SELFISH creep. There are many meds out there for depression. This guy has ruined his family's life for no reason.
Posted Sat, 11/13/2010 - 11:33am
many meds b/c none work very well. Is it a better life to drool at the tv or be depressed but awake... tough choices
Posted Sat, 11/13/2010 - 8:09pm
I don't look at it as a selfish choice but it does seem that some people can sink so deep into theirself that they can't see that life is good and that even though it can get hard it will pass and you appreciate the good times even more.
Posted Sat, 11/13/2010 - 6:41am