TERROR COUPLE Michelle and Barack Obama in happier times

This election is just nasty. Probably just as nasty as any of the last five presidential elections, but you know, it's so hard to remember four years ago even! So Slate had some doofy joke predictions for an October surprise (oh har har, John McCain gets sex change), but seriously, October is almost upon us, and here comes the frog in the blender. From sudden adjustments to the price of oil (George Bush's Saudi friends) to revelations of a candidate's drunk driving arrest (Bush again, but unleashed by the liberal elite media), the oddest thing an unhinge an election. Everyone's afraid to speculate just what the Republican October Surprise might be, but why live in fear?

• New York Mayor's Plan To Ban Everything That Makes Life Worth Living Almost Complete
• Two-Hour Britney Spears Sex Tape Coming Soon!