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Taylor Hicks: This Thing Looks Like That Thing

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YOU CAN CALL IT A COMEBACK Hicks
In case you had not stayed abreast of the career arc of Taylor Hicks, which peaked with his Season Five American Idol win but hit its nadir when he started performing in front for "30-something yuppies" in Southeast Asian malls after being dropped by Sony BMG, allow us to report some positive news: his long-awaited, self-released new album, Early Works, is finally in stores! Well, in store: it's available exclusively through Target, where it will retail for $9.98. Our heartiest congratulations!

We'll always have a soft spot for Hicks coverage after we launched an exhaustive investigation into his love life and concluded with 100 percent, forensics expert-approved certainty that the weirdly old-looking crooner went to great lengths to hide from the general public a floozy girlfriend he was shtupping because he was fearful about the hit his carefully crafted "good guy" reputation would take if anyone tied him to her. Great lengths that included a daring bait and switch involving a loyal but career-minded third party that seemed almost too bizarre to be true, and which was only uncovered due to the spirited work of dedicated bloggers.

Which basically makes Taylor Hicks the John Edwards of the "shitty music no one cares about" world.

Your investigative skills are really slipping.
That is NOT his long awaited second album.
Thats a compilation of old music.
Its great, you should listen but its not the new album.
I'm still waiting patiently for that.

Posted by: sillyboys on August 21, 2008 10:42 AM

Technically speaking, this is his second album released after he won Idol. Doesn't matter that it is a compilation of past two CDs remastered, it is a newly released body of work by the guy.

Posted by: SeriouslyFolks on August 21, 2008 10:58 AM

How to kill your career? A soul singer who didn't keep it real - that's how.

Most of Taylor's granny fanbase still does not believe that a Southern gentleman would do such a thing?!?!

Rader - I think it's about time you found out the identify of the beach floozy. Please put this to rest once and for all!!

Posted by: Midnight on August 21, 2008 11:10 AM

I mean Radar!!

Please - his fans want to know who the TALL Beach Bunny Marine, short-haired blonde lady with a killer body is!!!!

Posted by: Midnight on August 21, 2008 11:19 AM

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Last I read, which was Tuesday, he'd moved about 2300 copies of that CD. Anyone have anything else as far as sales? A friend of mine said she couldn't find it - her Target which was a SuperTarget said that the CD was being offered to a limited market. What kind of exclusive is that? How can you make much of an impact in sales if your album is hard to find?

Posted by: SeriouslyFolks on August 21, 2008 4:11 PM

Many Target employees reported being instructed to quietly dispose of the Early Works CD's the first week. They won't admiti this to the general public. I got it from an insider, who estimated that at least 10,000 copies were moved to the dumpsters before the stores opened on August 12. Why that happened, I have no idea. Somebody must not want Taylor Hicks to sell a lot of CD's.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on August 21, 2008 5:42 PM

Taylor Hicks should get himself into rehab for the coke problem and the hooker fetish.

Posted by: hideyho on August 21, 2008 10:01 PM

Yes you would lie to us "Would I" because that would be an illegal move and not benefit Target one bit. Don't be scaring those Soul Patrollers with talk like that, you know there are a few of them who will take your story and make if true - in their minds. Watch the blogs, they'll say he's being sabotaged now and Target is evil and scheming. lol

Posted by: SeriouslyFolks on August 22, 2008 11:19 AM

Seriously, when you get old, you lose brain cells. Reality is now a blur for most soul patrollers, lol. Most of them need padded cells or maybe they are in padded cells. Maybe the internet is 'activity' time for them, lol.

Posted by: Midnight on August 22, 2008 12:57 PM

Until Radar or MFOYA produces the identity of the slut on the beach why would anyone believe this? Seems some people care more about Taylor than they would admit or they wouldn't spend so much time and energy chasing down his love life. It always seemed like a little green monster in action who couldn't stand Taylor's success. And if you question his success, check out the Grease receipts since he's been in the show.

As to Target sabotaging the cd, another green eyed monster speaking I see. Those who dig dirt, also have green eyes and hate in their hearts. Why is Radar and others so interested?? Could it be his good looks, great entertainment ability, and oh yeah - that super whiskey tenor voice that maybe you don't have.

Until the next great original cd from Taylor appears, listen to Early Works - it will soothe your soul - if you have one.

Posted by: alkaline333 on August 22, 2008 6:38 PM

Of course Taylor is doing well in Grease. That's a place where, finally, all the fat old grannies can have him in their sights, and swoon over him in the darkness of the theater, and have those fantasies delusional old biddies have... Taylor and his boyfriend Bill know how to play up to those fantasies. They just don't know how to get the rest of the world to waste money on bad music.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on August 22, 2008 7:05 PM

Maybe the internet is 'activity' time for them, lol.

That's something to consider especially when you go reading some of the blogs about him.

alkaline333, it isn't anything about green eyed, blue-haired people eaters. It's just about the facts. So not everyone likes him. Obviously a quite few still do. Calling the 'jellus' tactics is just silly. Ain't nothing 'bout being jellus.

Posted by: SeriouslyFolks on August 22, 2008 7:14 PM

Which basically makes Taylor Hicks the John Edwards of the "shitty music no one cares about" world.


Radar you are too funny, but oh so on the mark with this statement.

Shitty voices produce shitty music.

Posted by: radarisfunny on August 22, 2008 7:41 PM

Oh, those rabid old bats....they can certainly kill a young man's career, can't they, lol! :)

Posted by: Midnight on August 22, 2008 8:24 PM

hicks is the same as John Edwards? I must have missed something, when did Hicks get married and cheat on his wife? I never knew about that.

He can lie about who he dates if he wants to, he ain't my boyfriend.

Target will do there best for him, never expected this to be a big seller, they haven't even made that many, its really great music.
DON'T FORGET, EARLY WORKS CD AT TARGET GO GET IT.

Posted by: sillyboys on August 22, 2008 8:50 PM

As I told you earlier, the Early Works CD was partially pulled from the shelves before it was even released. A memo came from above, and it was very hush-hush. Employees were instructed to destroy most copies of the CD because someone "big" in the music industry did not want Taylor Hicks to be successful. The same thing happened (and is still happening) with his previous CD. The conspiracy is real, and it includes SoundScan, Billboard, USAToday, and most other music-related sites and blogs. Clive Davis didn't retire; he moved into a position that requires full-time anti-Taylor Hicks marketing strategy. This is all true.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on August 22, 2008 9:51 PM

I don't think it's anyone's responsibility to bring forth the identity of the woman on the beach. The blogger did enough - they did more than enough. Given that so many facts did not add up in the so-called relationship between CL and TH, and then adding that a forensics expert confirmed what was a suspicion from day one - AND that nobody ever fought back screaming "slander" - it's plain as day that it was a big hoax. Delusional fans in denial will continue to deny it and that's too bad for them. Even if the woman's identity was brought forth (which I doubt it will ever happen) those same people will find some excuse to deny that too. It's too painful for them to accept that TH is a big liar.

The difference between TH and John Edwards is that Edwards eventually came clean and told the truth. Something TH is obviously too immature to do. That's left a very bad taste in the mouth of many of his fans and for that reason alone he will continue to get slammed by Radar and whoever cares enough to even mention him (which is not many).


Posted by: wiseone on August 22, 2008 9:54 PM

I guess you can tell that Taylor Hicks has really made it big. Ya know that most of the gossip is just what these celebs want. Think this is feeding them public attention? You bet it is. I heard the guy is making good money on Grease. We would go but too far away. I thought this guy's mucis was excellent. He isn't out of a cookie cutter and he wears some good lookin' women on his arm. Don't tell my wife. HA- she laughs and likes the man and his music too. Kinda strange that he is all that powerful to be still all over the internet. I will take my lady and go see him in his next tour if it hits the NW Coast, even to California. Alrighty then, glad I heard about the new CD release. cool. SB-

Posted by: sebastianbach on August 22, 2008 9:56 PM

You thought his mucis was excellent? I believe it's spelled mucus. And don't keep your calendar open for that tour. With the price of gas, and no big label behind him, he won't be travelling far, and it won't be until 2010 if ever. Believe me, it's true.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on August 22, 2008 10:35 PM

Man, I did not realize that I was being graded on my spelling. Ha. That was funny but a little like you are angry. Did I say something wrong to you? Music, ok?. I heard that after Taylor's Cd comes out, that he said that he would be on tour. That's all. We have not been to one of his concerts yet and hear that they are really much better than most live artists. I also know that if he opens his club like the paper said, because I am an avid fan of Rueben too, that he may play there as soon as that is built and open. I just loved Rueben's soul and Taylor has soul too. Anyone hear anything about the club opening lately?

I know that towns like Birmingham are hurting economically and this should help. We will make the trip. We just like the wholesomeness and yet he gets down with it. Rueben is the same way. He is special in that he has morals. Two good men. Again, sorry if my spelling is wrong. I did not mean to irritate any of you. I don't know how to use that spellcheck. Ha. Ok, well, now maybe you understand that I am into soul and jazz and no matter that Taylor isn't black, I still love him. We can all be brothers and enjoy each other. Rueben and Taylor are both very good men in my book. Lots of people said bad things about Reuben and I just can not understand why. Best to you all. SB-

Posted by: sebastianbach on August 22, 2008 11:37 PM

You sure are behind on the news. The company planning that club went bankrupt. Sign of the times, you know. Taylor Hicks is well-known as a lover of crack, are you telling me you didn't know that? I don't know a thing about Reuben, but I do know a very close associate of Taylor's. If you don't think every other word out of his mouth starts with F, you don't know anything about him at all. I don't fault him a lot for that, but it might be important to you, since you're so hung up on his morals. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on August 23, 2008 10:27 AM

Oops, I picked up your wrong spelling of Ruben's name. I'm back with a little info for you. Ruben owes over $160,000 in back taxes. The developer is alive again, just stalling for time because of his own financial problems. I just got this info by making a phone call. You're welcome.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on August 23, 2008 12:03 PM

Ruben is in trouble with the IRS and locally with a failure to pay his taxes. That's not a good thing when you're trying to open up a new business. Man, the Gov't always gets their man and their money.

Posted by: SeriouslyFolks on August 23, 2008 1:15 PM

Every other word out of his mouth starts with an F?
Be still my heart. What is it they say? thud!! haha

That Hicks is a tough dude. Healthiest looking crackhead I ever saw.
Past is past. Some people are so dimwitted.


The entertainment area project is chugging along slowly but surely
It will make it. Ruben has some things to take care of though.

DON'T FORGET EARLY WORKS CD AT TARGET!!!!
BUY IT ITS WONDERFUL!!!!!!

Posted by: sillyboys on August 24, 2008 1:14 PM

I found out that second-week sales of Early Works will be in the 3-digit numbers.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on August 24, 2008 4:57 PM

Unofficial, but from a very reliable source, sales for 8/18 to 8/24 are 448.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on August 25, 2008 8:32 PM

I wonder often about people that seem to gravitate to websites and blogs just to cause some trouble. I see it on the Newpaper comments section and I see it on other actors and singers fansites. I wonder why. I am not sure that I will get a non-sarcastic answer, but, I would like to know what the purpose of this is.

I don't ever totally believe what I read in print from the news online nor from magazines, but, I find it partly true and sadly just an opinion which should not be allowed from a news reporter and I think they should just report the facts. I jest to say that most outside those that write their blogs and stories which would include comments written right here, would be even less likely to be believable.

I had mentioned that everyone and especially Birmingham is going through an economic crisis and it is due to their sewer system there. I doubt seriously that this huge and prosperous corporation will not happen and not open the club scene which will be great. Taylor owns many companies and is successful and does not appear to be in debt. I also heard that RUBEN had just married and he probably had a very hard time getting any money out of the American Idol people and record labels and those large mega corporations that feed off of these young talents. Those back taxes were probably due to his not being properly taken care of as promised, in my opinion. He will come back. He is a really nice man, I have met him and talked with him on more than one occasion. Most regular people have large debts. Jest to say that some on this message board don't have debt. When you are involved with companies that make you or break you and try to control you and then stab you in the back, you could end up hurting. He has alot of fans and they are waiting for his comeback. He will get it together. Blind Willies is another great club. This will attrack a flourish of people into Birmingham. When a city is down, there is nothing like revitalizing neighborhoods and bringing the spirit of a bluesy city back into the lights. That town is full of music lovers and very wealthy people. It will come back. Looking forward to seeing it happen in 2009. Have a good night. SB-

Posted by: sebastianbach on August 25, 2008 9:48 PM

Taylor owns many companies? Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor, does it.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on August 26, 2008 11:19 PM

I love old ladies that pretend to be husbands that are fans of Taylor Hicks and then know all this BS info about him. Haha!!

So Taylor Hicks sold 400 albums the second week? Man, now that is sad. My bet is his next album is going to look just as sad. Guess that fake girlfriend crap really took it's toll on the karma wheel... You reap what you sow.

Posted by: fletch on August 27, 2008 3:05 AM

You got that right, fletch. Sebastian is one of the delusional old hags from the girlfriends site - it's probably MS or Blonde bimbo. I recognize their psychotic ramblings anyway - two old biddies with no fuckin lives.

Posted by: Midnight on August 28, 2008 10:46 AM

Taylor Hicks will not be recovering the cost of producing and releasing Early Works. His massive ego caused him to believe that it would sell in the tens of thousands. He is now struggling to pay his debts. Unfortunately, a coke addiction not only costs a fortune; it also clouds the user's mind to the point where he can't make rational decisions. Look for more trouble in the Hicks camp after the first of the year.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on August 29, 2008 7:13 PM

Not to worry, darlin. Hicks already got his money from Target.
There will be news to come, that much is right.
And yes yes you would lie to me and to everyone. Don't you have a job or something?

Posted by: sillyboys on August 30, 2008 2:31 AM

My job is in online media. What's your excuse for stalking me?

Posted by: Would I lie to you on August 30, 2008 9:20 AM

Sillyboys, Taylor hicks already got his money from Target? Tell me, which old lady from which fansite came up with this latest idiotic excuse and speculation? Was there ONE source that pointed to the fact that Hicks got paid in advance? Just one? NO. Just because a trailer park living fan comes up with bullshit, doesn't make it true. You should stop believing your own lies. Unfortunately the reality of what is happening to Taylor hicks is a lot more bleak than the excuses you delusional housewives have made up.

Posted by: fletch on August 30, 2008 4:51 PM

Secret sources, fletch, secret sources. I don't hang with the old ladies.

Posted by: sillyboys on August 31, 2008 1:14 PM

Funny article!

Sillyboys, I mean Henry8, you're all old ladies. Glad to see you found your way back here again.

Fletch, everything they say is delusional. Now that Taylor could only sell 13 cd's they have to tell themselves it's because he wanted that, or he didn't care because he got paid. They make up these special delusional business deals for Taylor Hicks that no other musician has ever been known to do. Did you hear how he paid a billion dollars to buy out of his Clive contract? Everyone else was dropped but not Taylor! He bought out his contract AND he got paid upfront from Target. The lies are sad and hilarious at the same time. Oh and the hooker thing? That was just a rumor made up by a Chroll. And the forensics woman got it wrong! sigh.

Posted by: rattle on August 31, 2008 1:48 PM

Supposed MFOYA sighting on Sunny's blog. Not sure if it's legit. Doesn't sound like MFOYA. Probably an imposter but funny anyway to mess with the loons. Of course Henry8's eating it up. I'm sure it's enough to reignite her obsession. lol

Posted by: overit on August 31, 2008 2:04 PM

I don't keep up with these things. Who is it I am supposed to be?

I doubt tayllr wanted out of his AI contract, not that soon. A billion dollars? wow
I do have sources, it was a small release.

Posted by: sillyboys on August 31, 2008 3:30 PM

Now it's a small release? Is that what it is? I think it's called SMALL SALES. Well didn't i hear they printed about 30,000? he sold 3000 in total? Hmm. Sounds like a hot one.

Posted by: rattle on August 31, 2008 4:47 PM

Early Works dropped in sales from the huge number sold in its second week.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on September 1, 2008 6:29 PM

Someone who chatted with Taylor last night said that he is not going to be touring until about a year from now. To me, that means never.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on September 1, 2008 6:36 PM

Sillyboys, Taylor hicks already got his money from Target? Was there ONE source that pointed to the fact that Hicks got paid in advance? Just one? NO. Just because a trailer park living fan comes up with bullshit, doesn't make it true. You should stop believing your own lies.

fletch - Your reply to Sillyboys is flippant and just plain uninformed. Anyone in the business understands that - yes, Taylor already got money from Target. You obviously are the one who doesn't know anything about the business. Here are the facts (from a Sirius radio exec).

With exclusive deals (like Taylor's deal with Target), the artist is paid an upfront lump sum for allowing the exclusive distribution. Then, in addition, the artist gets a premium for each sale that is above what he'd get for a single unit sale anywhere else.

Not sure how long places like Wal-Mart and Target will do that kind of thing, though, with shrinking physical CD sales. The download will take over in the next 3 years or so and replace physical sales.

Exclusives like this one with Target are kind of 'the model is broken, we can't fix it, but we can rake in some last minute dough.'

Bottom line: Taylor's exclusive distribution deal with Target was a calculated and very smart business move.

Posted by: cassie on September 2, 2008 3:27 AM

Hey, Lie. Not sure whom you're talking to (who "chatted with Taylor") .....but Taylor himself has said that he expects to tour spring or summer 2009 -- after he releases his next CD. Of course, it could be longer -- since Taylor is now producing his own CD and doesn't have to answer to Clive or 19 or any other bossman.

Thankfully, the next CD will be done how, when, and why Taylor sees fit. Gotta love artistic control.

Posted by: cassie on September 2, 2008 3:35 AM

cassie, you are an idiot. How is "a year from now" different from summer 2009? Your words are like those of a stalker named MissyScarlett we've been told to watch out for. Taylor wants her to go away. Bye.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on September 2, 2008 6:18 AM

Cassie, if what you say is true EVEN WORSE. Now no one will ever give Taylor an exclusive deal because he will cause them to LOSE MONEY. No one will EVER take a chance on him again, including every single potential label. So bravo Taylor. Great move! You're now a pariah in the music industry and no one will put a nickel on you.

Posted by: fletch on September 2, 2008 9:41 PM

Exclusive deals do give the artists an initial monetary pay out. This gives the CD a venue for marketing and the artist compensation for a certain number of CDs purchased. If the CD sells well, provisions contracted on payment above and beyond the initial contract. If sales not reached per initial contract, well then, no it won't bode well for that artist for future exclusives.

That would explain the limited Targets carrying the CDs and the small quantities where they were available for purchase.

Overit, Sunny discovered the ID of the poser MFOYA, not the real deal, just a wannabe. Figures eventually someone would try and pretend to be MFOYA.

Posted by: SeriouslyFolks on September 3, 2008 11:15 AM

Since only 300 copies of Early Works were sold this past week (as I knew and hinted above), no store is going to touch anything by Taylor Hicks in the future. In a marketing sense, Taylor Hicks is dead.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on September 3, 2008 10:55 PM

Does anybody still want to hear some inside gossip about Taylor Hicks, or have his 15 minutes of fame been extended into the maximum number of overtimes already? Taylor has some outstanding debt that's about to come due, and no way to pay it. Look for him to stoop to doing whatever is offered him, as long as it pays. That might disappoint a few of his more naive fans. Hey, if you thought he looked pretty stupid in that sparkly suit and weird hair in Grease, hold on to your hats. It's almost as exciting as Jello-wrestling.

Posted by: Would I lie to you on September 8, 2008 6:57 PM

You poor pathetic jealous envious idiots, if I couldn't report something better than you find on this site, I believe I would have enough sense to get out!

Don't you understand , Taylor has fans just like every other celebrity and nothing you say or do will change that. I am amazed at how informed you stay on Taylor's sales and girlfriends, for someone who apparently hates him you sure tdo write alot about him, although negatively, the soul patrol just considers the source and laughs as does Taylor too, I'm sure, all the way to the bank! lol, lol, lol

Posted by: Lynn on September 11, 2008 3:12 PM

Hey, this is a great site, isn't that why you're here?

Posted by: Would I lie to you on September 11, 2008 11:51 PM