• Affluenza: Ho-Supermanning rapper Soulja Boy is taking a little heat for his video, "Rich Nigga Shit," in which he blows his nose on money, rides a Segway across his living room, and shamelessly steals a line from Chappelle's Show.

• Massively multiplayer election: Soon Microsoft and Rock the Vote will enable X-Box Live players to register to vote and discuss politics on their game consoles. Which will make the campaigns look even more like Warcraft.

• Florida's bad day: Tropical Storm Fay gave the state's northeast region another flooding scare today, forcing more residents to evacuate their homes.

THIS WOULD BE THE POINT WHERE YOU WOULD CLICK: Dead letters; caring enough to say the very best to gays; Apple vs. Microsoft; probably some other stuff!

• Hipsters whine over not getting enough retro knickknacks: "You know what? No letters page this month," declare the editors of Vice magazine, who say they miss the old decorated envelopes and tchotchkes in the flood of today's un-ironic emails.

• "Congratulations on finally being able to experience the same misery your mother and I have endured for 38 years": Hallmark will start selling same-sex marriage cards featuring two men in tuxedos. Lesbians say they'll stick with L Word message magnets.

• Lifetime continues transition to poor gay's Bravo: The network "for women" will air a six-episode docu-series about young socialites in D.C. called Blonde Charity Mafia. What can we say? It's one of those news cycles.

• Apple gets bigger while Microsoft gets dumber: Sales of Macintosh computers are expected to be massive this year, thanks to a boost from college-bound students. In response, Windows Vista's new promotional experiment defensively tries to make the OS look cool.