|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
< BACK TO Fresh Intelligence The Official Bang-to-Ho RatioFrench First Lady Carla Bruni's recent discussion about the number of sexual partners she's had in her lifetime has been a godsend to many in the media, providing as it does a time-tested topic for debate during an otherwise slow season. The Internet is abuzz as various philosophers grapple over how many people you've done it to is too many people to have done (or been done by). The argument is academic, since the whole thing was already settled several years ago, by me, at a bar on Third Avenue. Here it is: The number of sexual partners that makes you officially promiscuous is always one more than the current number of sexual partners you've had. Unless you're a woman, in which case any number greater than one means you are a total slut. I'll be here for another hour or so, let me know if you there's anything else I can clear up. 
Are BJs equal to one-half of a partner or do they just not count at all? Posted by: westvillager on August 7, 2008 3:55 PM If it makes them more likely, I vote for "don't count." In fact, let's say three good ones actually REDUCES your number. Posted by: Balk on August 7, 2008 4:04 PM Good to know. I'll start hitting the bars on Third Ave tonight armed with the knowledge that my whore factor will be unaffected. Posted by: westvillager on August 7, 2008 4:11 PM Reduced. Your whore factor will be REDUCED. Posted by: Balk on August 7, 2008 4:41 PM Advertisement how about hand jobs? Posted by: sailor on August 7, 2008 4:53 PM Sorry about that! I'm trying to work AND leave comments on your little website AND fantasize about giving you a BJ at the same time. Next time I'll leave the fantasizing out of it.... Posted by: westvillager on August 7, 2008 4:59 PM Well, since I have no reputation left to protect... A fun game I like to play is to take your list of bangees and assign each a rating between -10 and +10, reflecting how you would feel if you saw that person again today (-10 meaning you would shrivel up and die or call the cops, and +10 meaning you'd be elated and get to hittin the kitten right then and there). Then you add up all your scores, divide by the total number of bangees and, voila! You've got an average that tells you much more than just whether you're a whore... you'll actually get some sense of how you're doing in your sexual "career." Hez (currently sitting at around +5) Posted by: Hez on August 7, 2008 5:02 PM What Radar reader even knows their exact number in the first place? Posted by: Creativity_Zero on August 7, 2008 5:20 PM @Creativity_Zero - some of us fucklosophical types actually started keeping track way back when we started. (And not just for reasons of diseasin'!) Posted by: Hez on August 7, 2008 5:24 PM I seem to remember a Mary Tyler Moore Show episode where Mr. Grant assigned the number between good girl and slut. I believe he said it was "six" and Mary's face, in response, did a series of contortions that could only be replicated in human form by the entire Pina Bausch company. Posted by: SarahHeartburn on August 7, 2008 6:09 PM SarahHeartburn - I like that you said Pina Bausch. Saying Pina Bausch in a conversation about sex should get you a gold star. Saying Pina Bausch in a conversation about sex in the middle of August should get you a Nobel prize or an Academy Award, or the rest of the month off. Posted by: lilyb on August 7, 2008 6:48 PM |
    
 |
|
 |
|
 | ||||
Back
The Object Here Bears A Resemblance To The Other Object Here