• We'll always have her: Paris Hilton responds to John McCain's celebrity ad with a campaign spot of her very own. McCain's campaign responds by taking a jab at Obama, saying, "Perhaps the reality is that Paris has a more substantive energy plan than Barack Obama."

• Banner moment: Four students, two Americans and two Brits, from Students for a Free Tibet were arrested and are being held after they unfurled a protest banner near the Olympic stadium in Beijing.

• Not exactly penny candy: Daily Candy, the advertorial e-mail that tells the ladies where to shop, has been sold to Comcast for around $125 million.

• To catch 11 thieves: In one of the largest, most sophisticated identity-theft rings ever prosecuted by the Department of Justice, 11 people were charged Monday with the theft and sale of some 40 million credit and debit card numbers from U.S. retailers, including Barnes & Noble and T.J. Maxx.

CLICK HERE, IT'S EASY: Questions about Obama; U.S. Olympiads' party cut short; ScarJo says it was all sexist; and their mommas voted for Thatcher!

• Miller time: For the first time ever, the U.S. Olympic Committee is requiring all athletes to attend an etiquette course before the games. Athletes say the totally bitchin' time skier Bode Miller had partying through the games in Torino, Italy, is the reason behind the new "ambassador program."

• Uncomfortable questions: If this Obama guy really is the Messiah, why doesn't he have a bigger lead over McCain? Why can't this God of Hope and Light break the 50-percent-threshold in the polls?

• Her again: Scarlett Johansson says media coverage of her e-mail "relationship" with Barack Obama was sexist. "I kept thinking to myself, 'God, if this was just, like, Kal Penn or George Clooney or any of the other (Obama) surrogates or supporters ... there wouldn't be [any] question about it. Nobody would even talk about it," she says.

• Your momma: Oasis annoyance Noel Gallagher takes aim at the journalists who wrote about his beef with Jay-Z, saying their parents voted for Margaret Thatcher. Ouch.