You know what has nothing to captivate the imagination whatsoever? The Republican Convention! I mean, look, it was awesome when it was in New York City—the whole town was crawling with fascists and closeted gay men in polo shirts, and New York was disgusted, which brought a strong whiff of terror-anxiety to the whole city. It was both erotic and horrifying. But this one is like, oh, we're going to St. Paul and they're going to nominate John McCain and some putz and who cares. Seriously, Denver is where it's at—particularly as the Clinton campaign is already jousting with the Obama campaign for space and message and power. She's spoiling for a spoiler!

• David Cho And The Duffel Of Destiny
• Cold War? That's So 20th Century!

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