Last year's G8 conference—that's where leaders of eight rich but not-so-populous countries, so not China or India, God forbid (though they're coming to visit this year!), plus one dude to represent the EU, though you know, it's still not called the G9 or G13 or whatever—ended with a shocking declaration about global warming. Yes! Last year—which was, for those keeping track, the year 2007 (not like 1977 or something)—everyone pretty much agreed to "seriously consider" doing something about global warming. Ha, who is our president, the guy who drunk-drove the Exxon Valdez into Alaska? This year, the G8 is going to try to pledge to cut "greenhouse gas" emissions by "at least 50 percent by 2050," when most of us will be dead from "natural" causes. Except the U.S. (and South Africa) will never agree to that. Also there is something for them to figure out about how the price of oil has doubled since last year but, you know, no one's going to bring up the rude subject of the war when it's really all chummy like, "Oh, 'allo, more tea, vicar?"

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