Wowch. Were you paying attention last night? If you listened very closely, you could hear the gorgeous sound of exploding egos as Project Runway's fifth season contestants were notified that they aren't quite as fabulous as they thought.

In the last season before the show makes its much-publicized jump from Bravo to Lifetime, and in the first episode since last season's stellar roster of talent showed at Bryant Park in Manhattan, just a handful of contestants showed the outrageousness or creativity that has made the show such fun. Which should cause a slight amount of concern, since the first challenge last night was one contestants have seen before: creating a look from $75 worth of products from low-grade supermarket chain Gristedes, a repeat of the very first, and one of the most beloved, Project Runway challenges ever. This really should have been cake.

Even season one standout Austin Scarlett's (still Botox-y, still fabulous) reminder to contestants that innovation in their shopping choices—á la his memorable corn-husk dress—would be the key to success, was to no avail. Scarlett's advice should have translated as don't buy something that's already a fabric, but at least five contestants (we lost count) then proceeded to purchase a tablecloth as their primary working material. Eventual loser (and, ahem, Radar pre-season favorite)Jerry mixed it up just slightly by using a shower curtain. The choice of materials was so uninspired, that later, during the sewing frenzy at Parsons, mentor Tim Gunn used negativity for the very first time, saying that with so many tablecloths in use, he was afraid the judges were going to think the contestants were "all slackers." Gasp! Tim Gunn never uses such harsh language! (On the upside, the Radar Tim Gunn "Make It Work" Count (™) officially stands at three.)

After the runway show, judges Scarlett, host and producer Heidi Klum, Michael Kors, and Elle's newly minted editor-at-large Nina Garcia, seemed ho-hum. They spotted the standouts easily enough: Kelli was named the winner after all the judges concurred her coffee-, bleach- and dye-stained vacuum cleaner bag skirt and top of burnt coffee filters, thumb tacks, and metal notebook spiral, was both well-thought out and wearable. Finishing second, was Daniel, who melted bright blue Solo cups into an adorable sweetheart-necklined cocktail dress. Third, and representing the tablecloth contingent alone, was Korto, who was also the only contestant to use produce, spicing up her bright yellow tablecloth dress with a collar of kale and tomatoes. Though others made perfectly acceptable dresses, nothing stood out as particularly fabulous. Which made the the decidedly un-fabulous bottom three frocks easy to see.

First to be named safe was Blayne, a tanning addict trying desperately to coin the next Project Runway catchphrase (Girlicious? Holla at ya boy?) His outfit, which Klum called "Playboy bunny gone grunge," was finally deemed edgy and hideous, but good enough to pass. Rock-n-roll chick Stella just eked out a stay when her boring trash-bag dress was commended as being just slightly better than Jerry's scary white ensemble, which Kors called "freaky" and Garcia said would be appropriate if "you were killing someone."

Overall, not a complete hot tranny mess, but definitely not fierce. We'll give a pass for this episode, but if season five wants to come anywhere close to season four, they better "make it work," and fast.