Sadly, Christian Bale's arrest didn't hit the Batwave until Tuesday morning, too late for the weeklies' Monday night close—you know, because the police waited until after the London premiere of The Dark Knight to question Batman about allegedly shoving his mother and sister around. Sigh, and we so wanted to put to paper our theory about what caused Bale to go Bat-shit crazy. We think that old Bats had had it up to here with every reporter shoving a mic in his face and asking if dead co-star Heath Ledger deserves an Oscar for his turn as the Joker. We suspect that Chris showed up in his cute little Bruce-Wayne-y suit to pick up his fam for the premiere and that his ma was all like, "So that Heath was so good..." He just lost it and a barrage of batarangs ensued.

Heh, we guess we did write about our theory after all. It's not bats but babies that dominate the glossies this week. Babies, babies, babies and all their creepy biological glory!

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