• We're still in: Despite numerous rumors, it turns out Radar fave Amy Poehler will not be starring in an Office spin-off. Her new show is an NBC comedy that will run alongside The Office and take on a similar faux-documentary style.

• Only the lonely: Poor John McCain. There was only one reporter waiting for him when he stepped off the plane in Manchester last night.

• Is that thing on?: Were the private passions of Madonna and Alex Rodriguez documented? Like on film? We are in no mood for this sort of talk.

HEY, THERE'S A BUNCH MORE RIGHT HERE!

• I'm not a plastic bag: Stores across New York City will now be required to provide plastic-bag recycling bins for customers, and those who fail to do so may face a fine of up to $300 per day.

• Uplifting news: A new study shows that women who took Viagra alongside antidepressants had fewer sexual side effects than those who took a placebo. Well, mom, what are you waiting for? That pool boy won't hump himself!

• Gamer girl: Paramount and Legacy Interactive are teaming up to produce video games based on Clueless, Mean Girls, and Pretty in Pink.

• Making middle-schoolers laugh for generations: A Greek court has dismissed a request by residents of Lesbos to ban the word lesbian. Some residents testified that the use of the word had brought recognition to the island and boosted its tourist trade.

• Music item!: Radiohead's In Rainbows and British Sea Power's Do you Like Rock Music? have been short-listed for the Mercury Prize. Noticeably absent from the list is Amy Winehouse's racist diddy.