Everyone has work dreams—from the noise-filled anxiety dreams that cause you to wake in an irritated state of pre-boredness to the full-on horrifying psychosexual brain-stem workouts that leave you beached at daybreak both aroused and disgusted. But what about those who labor in the specially-designed salt mines of the "creative underclass"? What about those who work long hours, consume massive amounts of data, are prone to oversharing, and who roam through people's psyches for a living? Which is to say: What do the current and former staffers of Gawker Media dream about? And what, if anything, can it tell us about working there?

Last year, I had the world's most boring work dream about Gawker, which I recounted over IM the morning after: "I had such a long dream last night, about how I didn't come to work! And I felt bad but like, nothing happened. Like, Josh posted a few things or something. Heh."

Yes, that is not very interesting.

Most departed former staffers don't remember their work dreams. "I barely remember working there, let alone my dreams," said one. "I seem to maybe kind of sort of remember dreaming about [owner] Nick [Denton] but I seem to have blocked any details," said another.

Sometimes, the Gawker work dreams take the form of work product itself: writing imaginary items in your head! "I dreamed that I was at Jessica Coen and Lockhart Steele's wedding, or maybe at a brunch or something leading up to it? Sloane Crosley and I were sitting on a pastel couch in some large flower-filled house, patiently trying to explain to some rich strangers how to get to White Plains. I think Spencer Morgan was also there."

I asked one longtime staffer: Do you ever dream of Denton? "Just his AIM window. 'hey.'" Ooh, creepy.

There are totally random work anxiety dreams. Such as: "I had a dream that I was hired to edit a new site that was a Jezebel spinoff. Called Jezebel Living. And one of the requirements was that I get pregnant and have a baby. I ate a GIANT CHEESEBURGER right before bed."

But what about dreams of The Big Bossman himself? That's where things get weird.

Wrote one current staffer: "I feel like most of my dreams involving Denton are those weird right-before-you-wake-up super literal dreams. Like I dream that I've called him and told him that I'm going to be late. And it's all okay. Then I wake up and I am late and I haven't called him and it's scary. I have dreams about commenters a lot. Last night a bunch of us were standing in field, saluting a flag. One old commenter stayed longer because he was a veteran."

There are competitive dreams. One former staffer had this dream last year: "I woke up from nightmares in a cold sweat at 6. I dreamed that [a coworker] like wrote a really great post about the party and it got a ton of traffic.... I was just angry at him for posting all the pix and getting all the pageviews."

And then there are the sex dreams.

Says one staffer: "I had a dream that I was in Soho and ended up making out in a doorway with Nick Denton. He was really nice and sensitive and a good kisser—in the dream. The worst thing was, I've had this dream maybe three times now. I do not know what that means but if I ever get a therapist that is one of the first things I will bring up. I think it has something to do with my sexualizing of authority figures. After the third dream I started to think that maybe I had a problem, but I haven't had that dream in a while now. Thank God."

And then there's this, from another. Oh boy.

"I had a dream that my dad caught me cheating on [my partner] with NICK DENTON. If THAT isn't symbolic of my guilt over working so much, I don't know what is. We were in my childhood home. He was the aggressor but I was not exactly submissive. He had a big dick and it was obvious that he was the type of guy who FUCKS you. Not 'has sex.' But I don't recall it actually ending in penetration. It was just the naked buildup, and then my dad caught me. I woke up HORRIFIED. And I felt so guilty. Also in the dream Nick fucked me over by [posting about a sensitive subject] on Gawker and then Digging it and doing a remix of it. With help from [videographer Richard] Blakeley!"