We knew there was a reason why the Post keeps Cindy Adams on payroll: the kooky old lady has landed the first exclusive interview with Alex Rodriguez's soon-to-be ex, Cynthia, since the stripper-loving slugger was linked in the tabs to Madonna.

Cynthia, given the ultimate backhanded compliment in being described by Adams as "handsome," says exactly what you'd expect her to say: that she still loves Alex, but that she already went through this once before and can't really bring herself to "go there again." At least we think she's saying that—the piece is frustratingly short on actual quotes. Writes Adams: "She has come to the realization he's changed. He is no longer the same man she grew desperately to love."

Another typical, quote-less passage: "So if today, right now, he walked into wherever she was, what would Cynthia say or do? She would say she has no regrets. She would tell herself she's come to terms. She would be grateful for her daughters. She would be certain God will watch out for her. She would insist she wishes nothing bad for Alex."

Rodriguez's attorneys were present at the time of the interview, so it's possible that they didn't want her quoted on anything specifically regarding A-Rod. That's the only explanation we can come up with, since she is quoted on the subject of her trip to Paris. She vehemently denies the rumors that she spent the week having a grand old time shopping and eating at fancy restaurants with Lenny Kravitz. "I did not spend one dollar shopping in Paris... I spent the most innocent four days with my children's godparents, who are as close to us as family," she says.

The Daily News, on the other hand, catches up with two of Rodriguez's more tawdry female companions: Joslyn Morse, the blonde stripper Rodriguez was busted with in Toronto last May, and Alicia Marie, a former Ms. Bikini Universe who has had Rodriguez over to her Chelsea apartment for several visits. Morse, who was approached at a gas station near her house in Miami, issued a "no comment" when asked if she ever had sex with Rodriguez. She also said she hadn't yet been approached to testify in court. Marie, for her part, continues to maintain that she and Rodriguez are just friends. "We would watch baseball together.... He would come over and eat all of my candy."

The best part of Marie's story? Rodriguez's pickup line, when he met her at a club in New York: "Where do you work out?"