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Slap-Happy Celebs and the People They Slap

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FIGHT SCHLUBS Penn, Pap
As you've probably heard by now, Christian Bale, the Welsh actor who plays crime-fighting vigilante Batman in the mega-hit The Dark Knight, has been arrested for allegedly assaulting his mother and sister at the posh Dorchester Hotel in London. "It is an extremely sensitive situation. There is nothing more I can say," says his 41-year-old sister, Sharon.

Batman might not approve, though Bale follows in the storied tradition of famous people who can't keep their hands to themselves. (Still, dude: Your mom and sister? Jesus!) Let's review the 10 best instances of Hollywood assault, shall we?

1) Sean Penn: Hollywood's pre-eminent hit man, Penn plead guilty to a misdemeanor domestic assault charge while married to Madonna. He also spent 32 days in jail for assaulting an amateur paparazzo on the set of Colors. (While it's been rumored that he dangled a photographer out of a Hong Kong window by his feet while filming Shanghai Surprise, he's never admitted to it.)

2) Naomi Campbell: The catwalk's pre-eminent hit woman. A few of her myriad offenses: attacked an assistant with a phone in 1998; beat up a different assistant with a BlackBerry in 2005; and assaulted a housekeeper with a jewel-encrusted cell phone in 2006. She's been compared to Mike Tyson and called a "super-violent bigot."

3) Russell Crowe: Played a pugilist in Cinderella Man; acted like one when he threw a telephone at a New York City hotel employee.

4) Christian Slater: The True Romance star was ordered to serve a 90-day jail sentence after beating up his girlfriend during a drug-and-alcohol bender in 1997. After the police were called, he tried to fight them too.

5) Josh Brolin: The hunky actor was arrested for domestic assault after getting into a spat with wife Diane Lane back in 2004. A spokesperson later characterized the incident as "a misunderstanding at home;" Lane declined to press charges. More recently, Brolin, along with W co-star Jeffrey Wright, was arrested in Shreveport, Louisiana, for tussling with cops after a bar brawl.

6) Liza Minneli: Broadway's finest allegedly beat up estranged husband David Gest so badly that he filed a $10 million civil suit against her in 2006. The suit was dismissed after a judge ruled that the headaches Guest said he suffered as a result of the beatings were instead "caused by a strain of herpes that causes shingles."

7) Hugh Grant: Most recall that Grant was arrested after being busted with hooker Divine Brown just off of Sunset Boulevard. Fewer recall that he was also arrested on assault charges for throwing a tin of baked beans at a paparazzo outside of his London home last year.

8) Denise Richards: The bushy reality star allegedly shoved two paparazzi and threw their laptops off a balcony (the machines struck an 80-year-old woman down below) on the set of Blonde and Blonder.

9) Kid Rock and Tommy Lee: The two scrapped during the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards, resulting in Lee's ejection from the proceedings. (Rock landed the only connecting punch, though.) Later that night, Rock was booked on a misdemeanor battery charge after scuffling with Lee again, this time at the Palms Casino.

10) Jon Lovitz: In an act of public service, Lovitz picked up professional schmuck Andy Dick "by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times" at the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles. (Lovitz was supposedly annoyed that Dick gave cocaine to Brynn Hartman, the wife of his buddy Phil Hartman, after she'd been sober for 10 years. Brynn fatally shot Hartman five months later.)

Comments

christian bale's father was married to gloria steinem (yes, that gloria steinem) and christian bale has a very close relationship with her...seems odd that he would assault his mom and sister, as i just assumed he was a feminist...however, it seems that there is probably more going on than has been reported.

Posted by: frenchbelle on July 23, 2008 8:42 AM

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