A-Rod and Madonna Conquer the Glossies (As Planned?)

You gotta hand it to Madonna. The singer, known simply as "M" in some countries, manages to carry cover space on all five celebrity weeklies a month shy of her 50th birthday—we doubt even fellow humanitarian homewrecker Angelina Jolie will be able pull off such a feat when she hits the half-century mark in 17 years.* And to think all it took was a cleverly planned/unplanned affair/non-affair with baseball's highest paid player, Alex Rodriguez.

• The Ten Worst Twitters You'll Meet In Internet Hell
• The Real Names of the Rich and Famous