• Surge protector: Republican senator and vague Obama VP candidate Chuck Hagel is totally over talking about the surge. "Quit talking about, 'Did the surge work or not work,' or, 'Did you vote for this or support this,'" Hagel told reporters Thursday, "We're done with that...What are we going to do for the next four years to protect the interest of America and our allies and restructure a new order in the world..." John McCain filled with gratitude because that surge stuff can be so confusing.

• Room with a view: Thomas "TJ" Earle, the man caught getting a room with Ashley Dupre earlier this week, is saying that he was set up by Spitzer's ho. His wife apparently believes him, but we're still waiting for the details on how exactly one would be set up in this situation. Was it... magic?

• Cheerio: Britons continue to demonstrate their frustration with the ruling Labour party, which lost one of its safest seats in a by-election yesterday. (Labour just keeps losing things!) Party leaders, the press, and pretty much everyone else, are telling Prime Minister Gordon Brown it's time he gave up his own seat.

OMG, THE MORENESS! CLICK HERE!: Alien coverups; playing with fire; and the Obama house rules!

• Other lifeforms: A 77-year-old former NASA astronaut and veteran of the Apollo 13 mission says that aliens have been visiting earth for decades and governments have been covering it up. "I've been in military and intelligence circles, who know that beneath the surface of what has been public knowledge, yes—we have been visited," he says. Let's all take this as a lesson about putting those over 70 in the White House.

• Daddy dearest: If Barack Obama doesn't win the election, he's considering taking the job of Super Nanny because he and Michelle have some pretty intense rules for keeping little Malia and Sasha in line. They don't give the girls Christmas or birthday presents because they "want to teach some limits." What is this guy, a Republican?

• Hot stuff: Lil Wayne is being sued by the publishing company that owns the rights to the Rolling Stones' "Play With Fire," because you know what happens when you play with fire and/or copyrighted material.

• Anything boys can do: A recent analysis of standardized tests finds no difference in math scores for boys and girls.