DIAGNOSIS: IMPOSSIBLE Cruise

We all have our own beliefs as to why heterosexual actor Tom Cruise has fallen in so deep with the Church of Scientology. "Dr. Drew" Pinsky, the host of Loveline as well as chief resident on VH-1's Celebrity Rehab, thinks Cruise's weird behavior is "a function of a very deep emptiness and suggests serious neglect in childhood—maybe some abuse, but mostly neglect." (Pinksy also refers to the Church as a "cultish kind of environment.) Neither of these claims is sitting well with Cruise's high-profile lawyer, Bert Fields, who responds in Page Six by calling Pinsky a "unqualified television performer" who is "grotesquely unprofessional," adding, "The last time we heard garbage like this was from Joseph Goebbels."

Now, Pinksy may be a television performer, but he's by no means unqualified:

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