Here's the deal: The rest of the office is gone for "summer Friday," but because the Internet never closes we're still chained to our desk. The last thing we want to read about is a Michael Lohan paternity case. But you might. And you know what? That's just fine! We're not making any judgments. So if you allow us to count this screengrab as "coverage," we'll allow you to click through and get all the dirty details. Let's help each other run out the clock together, okay? Okay.