TV Guide readers—your great-great-grandmother, her bridge buddies—may need to up their meds when this week's TV Guide, "featuring hot bods!" (their exclamation point, not ours), arrives in the mail. The cover features Mario Lopez giving a piggyback ride to our favorite Hills brunette, Audrina Patridge. And do they look stoked! While many of you may have had your fill of the Latino dancing sensation with our not-to-be-missed gallery of Super Mario, there are bound to be other juicy bits of similarly redeeming nature in the spread. Take, for example, this couple-serving fitness tip from Audrina: "I wear heels when I vacuum because it works my calves and my butt." Other celeb secrets for hot bods! are promised inside; we haven't had a look yet (and likely never will), but we're guessing the big secrets have something to do with forgoing booze and carbs and working out for 4 hours a day. Summer fun!