SIR LOIN Mario in People, Chris in The Blue Lagoon (Photo: Brian Doben/People magazine)

As part of People's groundbreaking "Hot Bachelors 2008" package, inexplicable celebrity Mario Lopez is photographed in a variety of homages to "the sexiest poses in history." Hey, it's Mario recreating Burt Reynolds' classic 1972 Cosmopolitan bearskin rug picture! ("My mom is going to dig this because when that Burt Reynolds shot came out, that was her time," says Lopez, which is just damn creepy no matter what kind of spin you try to put on it.) There he is as Brad Pitt in Thelma & Louise! And look above, he's Christopher Atkins in The Blue Lagoon!

Anyway, it's a fine idea, but we can't help but think that People missed a few opportunities. After all, there are plenty of iconic American images which would almost certainly be improved by the magnetic presence of Mario Lopez. So Radar took things to the next level.

CLICK HERE FOR OUR GALLERY OF AMERICANA, MARIO-STYLE!

(Have a shot of Mario we missed? Submit yours today!

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