Billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein pleaded guilty to, among other things, procuring underage prostitutes and then tickling them with brightly colored dildos—for which he received an 18-month prison sentence. "[A] towel-clad Epstein fondled young girls (sometimes with sex toys) while reclining on a massage table in his Florida mansion. The underage masseuses were recruited by a young female aide who paid them about $200 a session, according to investigators." That's doesn't seem like very much money for that sort of thing, but then I've never been to Florida. I hear it's pretty weird. In any event, upon completion of his sentence, Epstein must register as a sex offender, which will likely send that $200 masseuse-hooker rate through the roof. Way to go, ladies! [TSG]

PREVIOUSLY
• Epstein Only Being Sued for $50m Now
• Epstein: Call me Janice

• Scenes From The New York Pride Parade
• Madonna and A-Rod?