The Internet was abuzz today with rumors that Subway sandwich's Archbishop of Fat Loss and Overwrought Enthusiasm for Bland Hoagies Jared Fogle had passed away after gastric bypass surgery. Lies, as you should know by now. This rumor was propagated by several hundred Twitter posts as well as a purpose-built remembrance website for Fogle, a Web-2.0 twist to an age-old story: Using the Internet and reasonable-sounding headlines to propagate a piece of news that is in fact false.

Radar contacted Subway for comment, and beleaguered PR-Rep Kevin Kane said: "Jared sounded very much alive when I talked to him today. After I told Jared about your message [regarding the reports of his death] he seemed very alarmed." Besides a new appreciation of life, Jared was probably ruefully wondering why the Web had picked him for its macabre predilections.

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