It was a dark morning in the nation's capital today, mostly because the power went out but also because the economy is crashing and the world is essentially coming to an end. According to the Washington Post, the outage left "offices dark, workers idle and commuters trudging up and down immobilized Metrorail escalators." The cause of the problem remains unknown but smart money is on John McCain's reanimation machine overloading the power grid. Because he's old. And it's probably an antiquated reanimation machine that uses more power than a modern version would.

• Niche Airline Collapse Spells Glum Mass Future
• Want A Cheap Loan? Run For Senate

Sign in to post a comment here.