"I THOUGHT THE OLD LADY ETC." Spears

• A true professional: Britney Spears will go back to the recording studio soon, and plans to re-hire her old manager. The album has no official title of yet but How Come Jamie Lynn Gets a Baby Girl and Not Me? could work.

• Let's forget about all that: Eliot Spitzer and his family will vacation in Southeast Asia before the ex-governor faces a potential indictment. Surprisingly, this wasn't Spitzer's idea.

• Less-angry black man, please: A statue of Martin Luther King, Jr., has been given a facelift by the U.S. Commission of Fine Arts. Because a furrowed brow just doesn't say, "I Have a Dream."

• Diddy no more: Sean Combs is "just like any other actor" trying to get a decent role in Hollywood. Except without the auditions and stuff.

• Get in the pit!: Before you step into your drinking boots and head off to the weekend concerts, remember that if you act like a dick, the band will kick your face in. And the crowd generally sides with them.

• Glorious bastard: Quentin Tarantino announces that his epic new project will be split into two movies. Again.

• George Carlin, 1937-2008
• Is Your Baby Gay? Redux, Redux

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