We're a little bit late on this one, but it's too good not to share: Here's a campaign ad for Senator John Cornyn (R-TX), who is running for re-election this fall. Set to a rewritten version of Jimmy Dean's cornpone classic "Big John," the spot shows the Senator to be a rugged, beer-loving son of the Brazos. (It also rhymes "back" with "back," which is just unforgivable.) While some see a desperate attempt at overcompensation in the ad's abundant testosterone, we just think it's Cornyn's way of showing that the people of Texas will put pretty much anyone in the Senate. Unless he happens to be black, in which case, forget it.

• Gays Want To Make Babies With Elijah Wood
• America Plunged Into the Horror of "The Deep V"