• Cashing out: Thursday night, Barack (now with big union muscles!) and Michelle Obama both wrote $2,300 personal checks to Hillary Clinton to help with her campaign debt. Let the unity tour commence!

• Gold watch time: Bill Gates retires today from his day-to-day duties heading up Microsoft, but he'll remain a part-time chairman of the board. Gates says he is now looking to save the world, not open up a highly profitable cookie franchise.

• Blasted: Earlier today, North Korea celebrate getting off the naughty list by demolishing a nuclear reactor tower, the most visible symbol of its nukes (but one easily rebuilt, if need be).

GO AHEAD AND CLICK HERE: Uma engaged?; Madonna divorce lawyering up?; and so much more!

• Getting better all the time: Uma Thurman is reportedly engaged to financier Arpad Busson. Congrats, Uma! After Ethan Hawke and that stalker, things can only get better from here.

• Another sad love song: Madonna is reportedly seeking advice from a top divorce lawyer, Fiona Shackleton, for a possible split from Guy Ritchie. Shackleton recently helped Paul McCartney fight the good fight against Heather Mills and did such a good job that Mills dumped a jug of water on her.

• Infected: A report released by the CDC Thursday shows that the rate of HIV infection amongst young gay men is up 12 percent, supporting theories that a "second-wave" AIDS epidemic is imminent.

• Celebrity endorsement: Ben Affleck cares about what's happening in the Congo. So should you.