• Touching: Ashley Alexandra Dupré has spoken out for the first time since the Eliot Spitzer scandal broke. Via her MySpace page, she thanked all her supporters, saying "your words have touched me and I thank you for that ... with all my heart, I love you guys!!! :)"

• Imus be jokin': Radio host Don Imus says his latest racist remarks were misunderstood, and that when he asked "what color is he?" in regards to Dallas Cowboy Adam Jones, he meant that Jones "was being picked on because he's black."

• And everyone knows how effective the UN is!: The United Nations Security Counsel issues a condemnation of the terrible violence in Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe is unimpressed.

• Oh: Amy Winehouse's publicist says the singer's father misspoke when he said his daughter had emphysema. "She is not diagnosed with full-blown emphysema, but instead has early signs of what could lead to emphysema," Wino's flack says.

SURE, THERE'S MORE: Two Coreys fondled, but not at M.J.'s glove; homosexual mayonnaise; and Shaq attacks!

• Jacko off: Two Corey rape-off update! Corey Feldman tells GQ that Michael Jackson wasn't the one who did their molestin'. Good to know.

• Gay schmear: In Britain, Heinz has pulled a commercial for its Deli Mayo that features two men kissing after receiving hundreds of complaints about the not so gay ad.

• Shaq attack: Even if you don't like basketball, this is pretty amusing.

• Tap that: President Bush has tapped Lt. Gen. Ann E. Dunwoody to be the first four-star female general in U.S. history. First Top Chef, now this.