Pretty much the only people who still care whether or not the New England Patriots taped a walk-through of a St. Louis Rams practice session before Super Bowl XXXVI (the underdog Pats won) are the St. Louis Rams, which is understandable, and Pennsylvania senator Arlen Specter, who really should have more important things on his mind than trying to raise his public profile via an issue that shouldn't even be under congressional jurisdiction in the first place. The NFL has already said that no evidence of the tape exists; today, the Boston Herald, which reported on the existence of the tape back on February 2nd (the day before the Patriots lost to the New York Giants, mind you), published a front-page apology for the story, saying that it was based on erroneous sources who never actually saw the tape themselves.

But according to the Boston Herald's Howie Carr, there are graver ramifications at stake than the spirit of the city: Carr, you see, believes there's an inverse relationship between the success of the Pats and the Red Sox and that of organized crime in Boston! His argument: Local mobsters rely on sports bookies for their income; when Fitzy and Sully start gambling on their home teams and win, it set off a chain reaction that ultimately takes a big chunk out of the wallet of the organized crime syndicate. "An Irishman did wreck La Cosa Nostra. But it wasn't Whitey Bulger," Carr opines. "It was Tom Brady."

He's only half serious, of course. But do the statistics back up his theory? Let's see: The Patriots won the Super Bowl Years in 2001, 2003, and, 2004; the Red Sox took home the World Series in 2004 and 2007. By that rationale, 2004 should have been the safest year to be a Boston resident. In 2003, an empty championship year, there were 39 murders. In 2004, there were, uh, 64. To be fair, there were 75 in 2005, when neither team one, but just 66 in the 2007, when the Red Sox were victorious.

The verdict? Probably nothing. Which makes sense: if there is a definitive correlation between crime and sports success, we probably should have fired Isiah Thomas a long time ago.