TIME TO PLAY HAUTE CRITIC!

Let's spend a few minutes contemplating what scultor-cum-celebrity skewer Daniel Edwards is saying this time: Oprah's gone to the dogs? She's got canines on her mind? She's queen of the bitches? Or that she just bitchin' rules? Don't fuck with her, she'll let the dogs out? Or perhaps she's mere mad hatter's inspiration for the London opening of the movie version of Sex In The City?

This is the third time that Edwards, a native of the LaPorte, Ind., where Oprah used to own a spread, has tackled the Divine O in form. He's done an Oprah death mask and the omnipotent "O" as sacred sarcophagus.

"Memories of Sophie and Gracie: A Puppies' Memorial" is inspired by the Oprah press releases that announced the passing of Gracie, who choked on a ball last year, and the passing of Sophie, who died of kidney disease in March.

Oprah honored the memory of her two dead dogs in a show on puppy mills last month. But, David Kesting says, "given the natures of the demise of Oprah's dogs, we feel the horrors of a puppy mill could be inconsequential compared to the poison hazards pets face in the home." "Sophie's kidney failure may have resulted from natural causes, but we hope the Puppies' Memorial will remind everyone that Gracie's choking could have been prevented," the press release says.

Not to worry, David. Crabby is sure that the dog walker who gave the offending toy to Gracie is persona non grata in Oprahland and is lucky to have knees.

CrabbyGolightly.com