This week: Oh, Los Angeles. Is it not enough to have balmy temperatures, beautiful people, and—on my recent visit, at least—a preponderance of drug dealers wearing Rainbow sandals and cargo shorts? No. Apparently it isn't. First The Hills pummels Gossip Girl in the Nielson ratings. Then you hit us where it hurts, whipping out your economic might and shaming us in a financial measuring contest. (See below.)

NYC: After the J.P. Morgan buyout, Bear Stearns investment bankers wait to hear if they'll continue to be masters of the universe, or will instead be voted off the island and back into an empty, celibate, bottle-service-free existence.
L.A.: The Wall St. Journal reports that California "boasts the most millionaires", with Los Angeles County claiming the number one spot. Manhattan ladies camped out at banker bars on Stone St., take note.
Advantage: L.A.

NYC: Obama Girl is from New Jersey, but her unbridled ambition(s) makes us claim her as one of our own. Still, this video with Mike Gravel makes us feel a little awkward.
L.A.: SoCal's doddering old grandfather, Hugh Hefner, extends an invitation for Miley Cyrus to pose for Playboy. When she's legal, of course.
Advantage: L.A.

NYC: Cipriani, a place where important alcoholics go to conduct business, may lose its liquor license.
L.A.: San Diego State, UCLA's six-packed "social" cousin, is the subject of a DEA raid. The haul: Four pounds of cocaine and 50 pounds of marijuana.
Advantage: L.A.

NYC: ABC's Ugly Betty will shoot on location in NYC next season.
L.A.: Unbowed by the loss of Betty, the Los Angeles Times turns its attention to loyal, homegrown entertainers: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt.
Advantage: NYC

FINAL SCORE
NYC: 1
L.A. 3

This one didn't even seem sporting. You win, L.A. And we on the east coast, broke, sober, and with systems perilously free of beach-party narcotics, grudgingly salute you. If only we could afford to visit. Tune in next week as the battle rages on...