John McCain's medical records, released on the Friday before a holiday weekend in the hopes that the nation will be too distracted to notice that the candidate is very, very old, show that McCain "appears cancer-free, has a strong heart and is in otherwise general good health," according to the Associated Press.

While his doctors declare him fit to run and serve, they do note a chance of skin cancer reoccurring (McCain has had three prior incidences of melanoma) and the possibility that the senator might need a future joint replacement due to degenerative arthritis. Not mentioned explicitly but also high on the list of concerns is what effect the deep physical stress and psychological trauma of spending eight years having to pretend that George W. Bush is a good president might have on the 71-year-old McCain.