Geriatric kook John McCain recently sat down with Essence for what the mag says is McCain's first interview with an African-American publication. Not surprisingly, it took the man who famously voted against establishing a holiday in honor of slain civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr., just four questions to wax poetic about how much he loves black people: "I went to Selma and stood at the Edmund Pettus Bridge and talked about the need to include 'forgotten Americans.' I will never as long as I live forget the beautiful women of Gees Bend, Alabama, with the quilts. They were singing spirituals. On the first occasion I could find in the White House I would have them sing again," he said.

Of course, it would be difficult for even McCain to forget the quilts: he dropped a ridiculous $7,500 on three of them during his April trip to Alabama.

The 72-year-old Arizona Senator declined to say whether or not he'd consider having Condoleeza Rice as a running mate, but he repeatedly acknowledged his respect for Barack Obama (he did, however, claim that the comments Obama made about wanting to have cucumber sandwiches and a pot of Earl Grey with Jew-hating Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad proved that he is "not experienced" enough.)

McCain also stressed that he had no desire to make race a focal point of the campaign, and wants the election to be decided on "views and principles and philosophies." Uh, good luck with that.