Perhaps the most surprising thing about Living Lohan, the new E! reality show that follows 45-year-old Lohan matriarch Dina Lohan as she tries to help her 14-year-old daughter Ali establish a career as a pop star, is that she is not as bad a mom as you would expect. Granted, that she even agreed to the show given how Lindsay has turned out (constantly "exhausted," barely employable, prone to making terrible film choices) slightly undermines this point, but the fact remains that after watching last night's premiere episode, there is nothing innately wrong about the parenting advice Dina doles out. She's involved with Ali's career, but not in an off-putting way, and while she clearly revels in being on camera, she spends almost all of her on-screen time counseling young Ali and reminding her to be true to herself and stuff. She's even raised a son who wants nothing more than to be left alone to play soccer, which means she can't be that much of an exploitative monster.

But it is hard to imagine this turning out any way other than tragically. "Lindsay's my role model," Ali is fond of saying. Uh-oh. Lindsay herself, as has been noted, doesn't appear on the show, but she certainly casts a pall over the proceedings: she's mentioned by name no less than 20 times, and entire scenes are devoted to Dina and Ali monitoring the tabloids and gossip sites to keep abreast of her latest nighttime dalliances. (One scene in which mother and daughter settle down to watch the clip of Lindsay allegedly giving a blowjob is particularly icky, even though it turned out to be fake.)

Maybe we're wrong, and Ali will go on to have a successful, trouble-free career in showbiz. Family history, unfortunately, says otherwise. Sad clip of Ali talking about how much she looks up to Lindsay above.